Loving You
by We-All-Need-Courage
Summary: Maybe loving him was painful, but letting him go was an agony Kurt couldn't bear to suffer through. Klaine endgame
1. Blow the Candles out

_**A/N: **This story takes place just before episode 14. It contains spoilers for episodes 11 to 14. Some of the spoilers used in this story are unconfirmed so don't panic. English isn't my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. Oh, and I don't own Klaine or any of the other characters. If I did, Klaine would be cuddling together on the couch as we speak._

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"**So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love"**

**E. , Brushstrokes of a Godfly**

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_You are cordially invited to the wedding of_

_Emma Michelle Pillsbury_

_and_

_William Carl Schuester_

Kurt stared at the wedding invitation in his hand blankly. Rachel was buzzing with excitement behind him, but he just felt...numb. He knew he should be sharing her excitement, his two favorite teachers were getting married after all, but he couldn't help the horrible sense of dread that washed over him. That wedding had the potential of turning into a disaster for him, and with the luck he had been having lately, he suspected it just might.

He moved around Rachel who was bouncing in her spot in the entrance of their kitchen. She was in his face the second he entered the loft, thrusting the invitation at him with a squeal. His posture was stiff as he settled in one of the chairs, but she didn't notice. She was talking a mile a minute about dresses, songs, and reunions, causing his anxiety to skyrocket.

Luckily, Rachel decided that she needed to get involved in picking the wedding songs as soon as possible, and skipped to her room with the excuse of brainstorming ideas with Mercedes. Kurt thanked every deity in existence as her voice faded. He loved Rachel, he really did but he needed to think in peace.

Kurt heaved a sigh as he rested his elbows on the table. The wedding invitation was basically mocking him from its position on the table. A part of him was feeling guilty for not being as happy as he should be, but another part, the part than held the teenager who had his world turn on its axis just a few months ago, that part only cared about that the wedding meant seeing Blaine again and he didn't know what would come out of that.

Kurt bit his lip as he thought about his wayward ex. Things had been going very well between them ever since Blaine visited at Christmas. They were slowly rebuilding their friendship and Kurt was, slowly but surely, opening up to Blaine again.

But all that came to a grounding halt with just one call. Blaine called him when he was in the shower, and Rachel had answered. Kurt never knew what the conversation was about, only that it ended with Rachel accidentally telling Blaine about Adam. Kurt came out of the shower, only to find a horrified Rachel stuttering her way through an explanation of what she had done.

He tried to call Blaine back that day, but was sent straight to voice mail. His heart truly plummeted to the ground that day. He never intended for Blaine to find out about Adam this way. He had kept putting it off because he didn't want things to turn awkward. He was enjoying their renewed connection too much to mess it up.

Rachel had been silent throughout his frantic dialing. She only moved when he collapsed on the couch, rubbing his shoulder and telling him that he should let it go, that this was for the best, that this was his opportunity to put Blaine behind him and move on with Adam.

Kurt exploded

He was sick of Rachel's attempts to influence every decision he made. He knew that she was trying to help him, but she pushed too hard. Even when he just needed to talk, she would always have an opinion and try to shove it down his throat.

He was tired of it.

Their fight that day was the worst they ever had. Kurt didn't blame Rachel for telling Blaine, but her attempt to downplay it and make it seem like a favor just grated on his nerves. Rachel, on the other hand, felt that Blaine was the reason Kurt was at a standstill with Adam. He tried to explain that he didn't even know where he stood with the NYADA student. Sure, they went on a couple of dates, but it wasn't enough for him to decide. She told him he was closing himself off for no reason. She insisted that he was clinging to a relationship that stopped holding a meaning, a love that no longer existed, and a boy that was long gone.

The yelling match went on for what felt like hours and left Kurt feeling drained. She just couldn't understand the kind of relationship he and Blaine shared. Blaine was Kurt's person. Even before they started dating, Blaine had always been there for him. Their connection was unique and he didn't want it to end. He might have lost Blaine as a boyfriend, but he sure as hell wasn't losing him as a friend.

Kurt struggled through the next week. He had finally reached Blaine and tried to explain, but the senior brushed the whole thing off. His attempt at nonchalance didn't fool Kurt though. His "I'm happy for you" sounded so false and broken that it tore Kurt's heart out. Kurt tried to force the issue several times, but Blaine always changed the subject. They were back to awkward talks and tense silences, and Kurt hated it. It was like he was losing Blaine all over again and he couldn't stand it.

Balancing NYADA and Vogue that week was exceptionally hard. They were preparing a new collection which meant long stressful hours, and he was still struggling to catch up on the work he missed at NYADA. On top of that, Rachel was still on his case. She was basically shoving him at Adam every chance she got and Kurt was nearing the end of his rope.

Adam's invitation to cook him dinner at his place felt like a breath of fresh air, and he agreed readily. He felt himself relax for the first time since that blasted phone call. Adam was even more charming than usual, and Kurt closed his eyes as he lost himself in the relaxed atmosphere. He felt the couch dip besides him and opened his eyes, only to be met with Adam's face millimeters away from his own.

Adam pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and Kurt sighed in contentment. He didn't protest when Adam deepened the kiss or when he pushed him back against the couch. And when Adam pulled him to the bedroom, Kurt just let go. He shut down his head and surrendered to the feeling wrecking his body.

It wasn't until they were done, and Adam's breathing deepened in sleep that he realized what he had done. He stiffened as the feeling of wrongness washed all over him. Tears sprang to his eyes as it hit him like a ton of bricks.

_"_ _you gotta know that it means something. You know, it does something... to you, to your heart, to your self esteem"_

Kurt covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a sob. His father's words came back to haunt him, and he felt sick. What on earth had he done?

_"_ _When you're intimate with somebody, in that way, you're exposing yourself, you know, you're never gonna be more vulnerable"_

He didn't even know Adam that well. He met the guy two months ago, and only went on a handful of dates. They weren't even official yet.

_"Don't throw yourself around, like you don't matter. Because you matter, Kurt"_

He rolled away from Adam and pulled his knees up to his chest. How could he do that to himself? How could he reduce something so precious and special to him to _that?_

Kurt moaned quietly as his body trembled with anguish. He had always regarded sex as the most sacred thing in the world, a way to become one with the person he loved. That's why sex always meant making love in his books, because it was in principle an act of pure love. It was never about physical pleasure to him. And now, in a moment of vulnerability, he allowed his stress to cloud his judgment and went against everything he believed in. He disrespected himself and broke the promise he made to his father that he would never take it lightly.

What truly killed Kurt is the guilt he was feeling towards Adam. Adam had done nothing wrong, he didn't pressure him or force him into anything, but Kurt still led him on. He didn't mean to, he was just trying to move forward and stop feeling so broken. But he just dug himself deeper in the hole of grief he had been living in lately.

Kurt took a deep breath, finally coming to terms with what his heart already knew. He wasn't over Blaine. He still didn't know if he could get back together with Blaine, if he even _wanted_ to get back together with him. However, he knew for sure that there was no way he could have any sort of a relationship with anyone, while his heart wasn't whole. He needed to figure out what _he_ felt about Blaine, not what Rachel pressed for him to feel, not what Adam expected him to feel, not even what Blaine hoped he would feel. He needed to focus on himself and figure things out before attempting to be in a relationship.

Coming clean to Adam was one of the hardest thing Kurt had ever done. He still harbored feelings of guilt towards the upperclassman, but he couldn't continue to fool himself, and he didn't want to string Adam along anymore. Adam was much more understanding than Kurt imagined. He had always felt like Kurt was hiding a part of himself away, and he finally knew the reason. Kurt's eyes watered as Adam actually apologized for pushing him into something he clearly wasn't ready for.

But if he thought that talking to Adam was tough, then his conversation with Blaine was agonizing. Blaine was a shadow of his former self and Kurt had a hard time trying to explain what he wanted. He didn't want to give Blaine false hope but he also didn't want to shut him out.

That was a week ago and Kurt was losing his mind. He had practically stopped talking to Rachel, and he had to force himself to walk away on several occasions so as not to tear the diva to shreds. He was trying so hard to figure out what was best for him, and she wasn't giving him a moment of peace ever since she found out about his breakup with Adam.

The tension between him and Blaine had reached a whole new level. Both were so conscious of every word the other one said, and they were tiptoeing around each other. Blaine had opted to reduce his phone calls as much as possible to provide Kurt with the space he needed, and while Kurt was grateful, he still loathed it. And now, with Mr. Shue's wedding on the horizon, Kurt was actually afraid of what would happen when they finally saw each other.

Kurt was brought out of his musing by his phone ringing. He let a small smile touch his lips when he saw Finn's name. He picked up his phone, climbing onto the fire escape before answering. Finn gave him his usual update on Burt and how his treatment was going, before launching into an explanation of what the New Directions kids came up with for the wedding. Kurt had to admit that most of the ideas were perfect. Finn also wanted the old members to sing duets, he wanted it to make it a special gift from them .

Kurt agreed with the sentiment, remembering their duet competition in his sophomore year. He was wary though of the drama it would create because it was a given that Rachel and Finn would duet together. Before he could voice his concern though, Finn made his world come to a grounding halt with his next words."I'm gonna need you and Blaine to agree on what song to sing as soon as you can, so we can decide on the song order"

Kurt's breath left him. Of course they'll expect him and Blaine to duet together. Why didn't he think of that? So not only was he going to see Blaine with his thoughts all over the place and his heart and mind in constant battle with each other, he was also going to sing a song,_ a love song no doubt_, with Blaine, _to_ Blaine.

Oh, crap.

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_Wow, that turned out to be so different from what I was planning. Hope you guys liked it. Sorry about the Kadam sleeping together part. That part hurt to write as much as it hurt to read. I would love to hear what you guys think._


	2. Looks like a solo tonight

_**A\N: **Hi everybody. First of all, thanks for all the wonderful feedback. Your reviews,messages,favorites and follows really made my day. This chapter deals with Blaine's side of things. Fair warning, it contains MAJOR Blangst vibes._

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**"I wanted to be his life preserver, the thing that would keep him afloat. Instead, he became my anchor. And I'm tired of drowning"**

**Amanda Grace, But I love Him**

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Blaine sighed in frustration as the argument going on around him heated up. The New Directions had been going at it for a while now. Actually, _Kitty_ had been going at it for a while now, and everyone was at the end of their rope.

It all started with Mr. Shue informing them of his impending nuptials. The old members erupted in cheers, not unlike those they made upon discovering his plans to propose the previous year, while the new ones offered their congratulations politely. He asked them to perform at the wedding and they agreed readily. It's not like the request was a surprise, they all knew from the second he proposed that they would be performing at the wedding.

Kitty seemed to disagree though. Thankfully, she managed to keep her opinion to herself until the teacher left the choir room, and then threw a hissy fit. She told them that she didn't want to be "the entertainment" and that their choir director shouldn't expect them to be at "his beck and call".

All of them were taken back by her comments. That was the same girl who was Sue Sylvester's personal lapdog but she refused to sing as a favor to two of the most kind-hearted teachers in Mckinley? Tina jumped to her feet, telling Kitty that she wouldn't even be invited to the wedding if she wasn't a member of the New Directions, who were basically Mr. Shue's family. Kitty didn't take the comment too kindly and before anyone knew it, World War III had broken out.

Blaine pressed his palms to his eyes in annoyance. He really didn't need the catfight this whole thing was turning out to be. He had too many things on his plate right now; the most prominent one being the situation with Kurt.

Blaine leant his head back, toning out everyone around him and allowed his mind to wander. Memories rushed to the forefront of his mind and he closed his eyes in resignation, waiting for the usual deep ache to sweep over him. His mind had been torturing him ever since the fateful night that cost him everything. The expression on Kurt's face when Blaine confessed to his cheating was forever burned in his memory. Even patching things up with Kurt didn't ease the feeling of unworthiness that had been his constant companion for the last couple of months.

Blaine still couldn't believe that Kurt was making an effort to allow him back into his life. Kurt had initially cut him off completely, not even giving him a chance to explain. Blaine knew that he deserved that and more for hurting the one person who loved him without any reservations, the gracious soul that loved him for his flaws before his merits. But it still hurt like hell. Blaine was drowning in his grief and he only had himself to blame.

The phone call at Sectionals had been his saving grace. He thanked his lucky stars that Kurt was finally allowing him closer. Just knowing that Kurt was only a phone call away, that he would pick up if Blaine called made him breathe a little easier. He didn't care that Kurt didn't promise forgiveness, didn't hint at them getting back together, he was giving Blaine a second chance, an opportunity to regain his trust and that's all that mattered to Blaine. He would take whatever Kurt offered him, will be whoever Kurt needed him to be.

They were doing so well. Blaine had feared that his visit at Christmas would upset Kurt but it turned out to be just what they needed. They didn't have the mature heart to heart that they agreed on in Thanksgiving, Kurt was still reeling from the news about his father after all, but they did talk. Neither wanted their friendship to end and they agreed on taking things slow. They called each other frequently, each leaning on the other in his time of need. Kurt was the one Blaine called when he had gotten terrified over going to another Sadie Hawkins dance, and Blaine was the one Kurt turned to after his mini-fight with Rachel over the NYADA Glee club. They were falling back to their old habits and Blaine felt that every phone call brought him closer to earning Kurt's trust back.

But it all came tumbling down so fast. The New Directions had a "Diva" assignment in which they were supposed to act out their inner divas. Blaine toyed with a few ideas but he wanted a second opinion, and who was a better person to ask than his diva ex boyfriend-turned-best friend?

Blaine, however, was in for an unpleasant surprise when it was Rachel who answered the phone. He had been wary of Rachel since she came with Kurt to watch Grease. He would never forget the scathing look she threw him as she steered Kurt outside. Rachel had been his friend, she had been one of the few people he got close to the previous year and now, she was treating him like the devil incarnate. Coming from Rachel-I-kissed-my-boyfriend's-best friend-to-get-back-at him-Berry, Blaine thought it was a little hypocritical.

But he couldn't fault her. She was Kurt's best friend first and foremost, and Blaine was so immensely grateful that Kurt had her during those hellish few months. He didn't care how she treated him as long as she was there for Kurt. So she could shun him, patronize him or even trash talk him, he would still be grateful to her.

In true Rachel fashion, she didn't even give him a chance to talk. She briskly informed him that she only picked up because the phone had been ringing for a long time, and that Kurt was in the shower. Blaine opted not to prolong the call by having a meaningless small conversation with Rachel. He asked her to tell Kurt to give him a call and was about to hang up when her next words sent him reeling back. "Blaine, hold on. I need a favor, would you please talk to Kurt about quitting the Glee club? I know he's dating Adam now and all that, but all the club is doing is hindering him and he has enough things on his plate"

Rachel's words knocked the breath out of Blaine. An overwhelming feeling of devastation hit him like a tidal wave. He tried to speak but the words seemed stuck in his throat. He had heard of Adam before, Kurt had told him all about Adam's Apples but he never said anything about dating the guy. But why would he? Kurt had every right to keep whatever he wanted from him and Blaine certainly had no reason to expect Kurt to give him updates concerning his love life.

Rachel noticed by this point that Blaine had gone completely silent and connected the dots. She stammered, trying to come up with a way to soften the blow but it was no use. Blaine put her out of her misery, biding her farewell and hanging up before she could stop him. He stared at his phone unseeingly for a few seconds before turning it off. He was in no condition to talk to anyone and frankly, he had no desire to. His eyes swept over his room, coming to rest on Margret Thatcher's dog that was sitting on his nightstand. And something inside him just shattered.

He sat on the edge of his bed, trying to get his bearings. He felt like he was falling down a bottomless pit and he had no idea how to make it stop. Was this what Kurt felt that night in Battery Park?

"_No_", his mind supplied. "_This is nothing compared to what you put Kurt through. He didn't betray you, didn't _cheat_ on you. _You_ are the one who messed it all up. _You_ are the reason he's gone_"

Blaine flung himself back on the bed, shaking uncontrollably. It was over, it was truly over now and there was nothing he could do. Kurt had moved on and that was it. Blaine had fooled himself, thinking that there might be a chance that Kurt still wanted him as a boyfriend. He had convinced himself that if he just managed to earn Kurt's trust back, he would be able to win him over again. He had been so hopeful; encouraged by the fact that Kurt had returned his "I love you" during their phone call in Thanksgiving.

But the truth was that Kurt never promised a thing. He didn't tell him he would forgive him or that he would take him back, he just said that he was trying and that he missed him, missed _his best friend_. That was what they were now, that was what Kurt _wanted_ them to be now, and Blaine had to accept that. He couldn't ask for more from Kurt. If he wanted to be in Kurt's life, it would be on Kurt's terms and right now, Kurt wanted his best friend.

Blaine's eyes brimmed with tears when the heartbreaking realization hit him. That was his only place in Kurt's life now and he knew that he wouldn't give it up for the world. He had promised Kurt to always be there for him even if they weren't together, and he was going to keep his promise this time, even if he died a little inside every time Kurt mentioned his new boyfriend, even if his heart broke at the fact that his soul mate only saw him as a friend, he would still do it.

However, all his reasoning went flying out of the window the second he turned his phone back on. It started ringing almost immediately and he braced himself when he saw Kurt's name on the screen. He had no doubt that Rachel had told Kurt about his call and no amount of preparing was going to help Blaine with the conversation he was about to have with the man he loved. He didn't even know what Kurt's reaction would be and he was almost afraid to find out.

But whatever he was expecting, it certainly wasn't a frantic Kurt, tone laced with worry and fear, trying to explain why he kept his relationship status from Blaine. Blaine was astounded that Kurt actually felt the need to give him an excuse to why he never told him about dating Adam, which was technically none of his business. Blaine's love for Kurt grew even more and he swallowed thickly before interrupting the string of excuses that were falling from Kurt's lips. "There's nothing to explain, Kurt. You don't owe me anything"

"But Blaine….." Kurt tried to interject but Blaine didn't give the chance. Kurt shouldn't feel guilty for not telling him, Blaine wouldn't stand for it.

"But nothing" he insisted. "It's your life and you have every right to live it in any way you want" he took a deep breath, praying to a God he didn't believe in that his voice wouldn't break. "I'm happy for you"

It sounded so forced, so hollow, even to his own ears and he had no doubt that Kurt didn't buy it. This was proved when Kurt tried repeatedly to go back to the same subject until Blaine practically begged him to let it go, and Kurt finally relented.

After that night, Blaine immersed himself in school work and the thousand after school clubs he was a member of. He had never been so grateful to Couch Sylvester's brutal routines as he was at that moment. He also took more responsibility in the New Directions, offering help to the new members in anything they wanted. He was working himself into a frenzy and he knew that he would draw attention sooner or later. He was aware of the worried glances Sam and Tina kept shooting him. He just hoped that nobody would call him out on it.

Luck wasn't on his side though. He had wandered into the auditorium one day, wanting to just lose himself in the music for a little while before going home, and he nearly collided with Sam who was just leaving. He smiled briefly at Sam, thinking that the other boy would just go on his way but was sorely disappointed when Sam turned around and followed him back into the auditorium. He sat at the piano, letting his fingers caress the keys before starting to play. Sam sat passively in one of the seats, just watching him. Blaine tried to ignore his presence, knowing for sure what Sam wanted to talk about and wanting desperately to avoid it. But as the minutes paused, he realized that Sam wasn't going anywhere. His fingers stilled and he turned around to face him.

Sam regarded him coolly for a few seconds then heaved a deep sigh when he realized that Blaine wasn't going to start the conversation. "You want to tell me what's going on with you?"

Blaine considered playing dumb for a moment then disregarded it quickly. He didn't want to lie to Sam, they had gotten close over the course of the last few months and Blaine felt like he could trust the blond with anything. He really had no desire to talk about his issues with Kurt but he didn't want to push his best friend away.

Sam had said nothing during the time it took Blaine to answer. He waited patiently for the curly haired boy to gather his thoughts, wanting Blaine to know that he was there for him. He was worried sick that his newly acquired friend was slipping back to the dark hole he had been living in ever since the break up.

Blaine finally met his eyes, muttering "Kurt is seeing someone" in the smallest voice Sam had ever heard from the tenor.

Sam frowned at the piece of information. He had a vague idea that Kurt and Blaine had been mending their relationship lately but he didn't know the specifics. He honestly thought that they were on their way to getting back together judging by the number of times they called each other and the fact that Blaine had been going to the Hummel-Hudson household a lot recently to check up on Burt. Apparently, he was mistaken.

He watched with a heavy heart as Blaine spaced out with an unreadable expression on his face. Blaine had always worn his heart on his sleeve and he was basically radiating pain now.

"Blaine" Sam began softly. "What happened? I thought you guys were doing okay"

"We were" Blaine mumbled. "It's just…." he trailed off, getting choked up. Suddenly, he was overcome with a feeling of rage. Hot burning fury coursed through his veins and he stood up abruptly, knocking over the piano stool. He didn't want to talk anymore. Talking hadn't helped him before, had it? It didn't help when he was drowning in his loneliness and tried to reach out to Kurt, it didn't help when he tried to apologize for what he had done, and it certainly wouldn't help now that Kurt had found someone else. Why did everyone act like _talking_ would solve his problems? Didn't Kurt take him to couple's therapy last year so they could _talk_? And look where it had gotten them.

Just as suddenly as it came, all Blaine's anger evaporated in a second. He deflated, sliding to sit on the floor and burying his head in his hands. He heard Sam get up and approach him slowly, laying a comforting hand on his back. He struggled to get his breathing under control, whispering a quiet "I don't want to talk about it"

Sam could feel Blaine's body trembling beneath his hand and he nodded. The last he wanted was to upset Blaine even further, but he needed to get his point across. He moved so he was facing Blaine, gently addressing the distraught boy.

"I know that you're hurting right now, Blaine, and I can't imagine what you feel. It's okay that you don't want to talk about it but…" he pulled at Blaine's arms till he met his eyes.

"You can't keep doing this. You're killing yourself, Blaine. I don't know what the future holds for you and Kurt but you can't make your entire life revolve around that. You have your NYADA audition coming up so you have to get your act together soon."

He stood up, offering Blaine a small smile before pulling him up. "So here's what we're going to do. You're going to go home and have a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we're going to start anew. You'll quit some of those insane clubs that you have joined and you're going to take it easy with the rest of them. We're going to start working on your NYADA piece and you're going to kill it. Any complaints?"

He knew that he was basically telling Blaine what to do but judging from the weak smile tugging at Blaine's lips, the other boy didn't mind. Sam sighed inwardly in relief as he received a tiny nod from Blaine. He bumped his shoulder against the other boy's playfully before pulling him out of the auditorium. "Come on then. I'll give you a ride home"

Blaine lay in bed that night, thinking about what Sam said. He knew that he was right but his heart ached every time the thought of Kurt being with someone else. However, he had to push through. He really couldn't afford getting distracted with the date for the NYADA call backs looming near. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Kurt but he would have to learn how to function again despite his heartache.

His phone ringing brought him out of his musing and he glanced at the clock, wondering who would be calling him that late. His heart plummeted in his chest when he discovered it was Kurt. Fear swept over him in an instant. He was hoping that Kurt just needed advice about something but he knew this couldn't be the case. Their conversations now involved more uncomfortable silence than it actually involved talking. So Kurt calling him this late meant only one thing, there was something wrong with him.

Kurt's voice just confirmed Blaine's theory. There was something wrong, that was clear, but Blaine couldn't for the life of him pinpoint what was it that was upsetting Kurt. Not that Kurt gave a chance anyway, he totally blindsided Blaine with a simple statement. "I'm not over you"

Blaine choked on his breath as Kurt launched into a lengthily explanation. Blaine felt lighter when Kurt told him that he was no longer with Adam but he felt like he was unable to understand Kurt. He could tell that Kurt was having just as much trouble as him by the way he kept pausing and over explaining things. His struggle was almost palpable and Blaine sunk lower in bed as he willed himself not to hope. It was obvious that Kurt still hadn't figured out what he felt towards him and needed more time, time that Blaine was more than willing to give. But he didn't want to fool himself into believing that Kurt would take him back, because what if Kurt decided that he would never be able to trust him again? What if he figured out that he couldn't love the person Blaine had changed into? What if he discovered that the boy he had fallen in love with two years ago was long gone? No, Blaine couldn't bear the mere thought of it. He can't let himself get closer, he had to keep his distance until Kurt made up his mind, and maybe, just maybe Kurt would find it in himself to forgive him.

Blaine was startled out of his torturous thoughts by Finn's voice. It seemed that Finn had had enough of the pointless argument going on and put his foot down. He said that since it was a favor, Kitty didn't have to perform at the wedding. However, he made sure to inform Kitty that she wouldn't be exactly welcome in the New Directions if she chose not to perform. The dirty looks she received from the other members seemed to sway the cheerleader and she huffed out an agreement. They settled down trying to come up with some ideas for the wedding. Everything was going fine and Blaine was actually starting to lose himself in all the wedding talk until Finn suggested duets for the old members to perform. He tensed in alarm, knowing that Finn's obliviousness had a tendency to kick in at the worst possible moment. Just as he had anticipated, Finn paired him and Kurt and he bit his lip so hard, knowing that he wouldn't be able to say no. The two of them usually dueted together that it became the norm. He couldn't blame Finn for putting him in this situation, he suspected that Finn had no idea about what was going on between him and Kurt, but the taller boy had accidentally put him in a tight spot. He was now expected to sing a love song to his ex boyfriend whom he was still head over heels in love with.

How on earth was he supposed to survive that?


	3. Mistaken, always second guessing

**A\N: **_Hey guys, I'm sorry that this chapter took longer than usual but for some reason, it gave me such a hard time. Burt AKA World's Greatest Dad makes an appearance in this chapter. Also, I'm assuming that Sam is still staying at with the Hudmel because no one has said otherwise. Hope you guys like this chapter and I would love to hear what you think.__  
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**"Love is like the truth; sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts"**

**Victor M. Garcia Jr**

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Kurt grunted softly as he threw himself on his bed. The last week had been gruesome, with him scrambling to organize his schedule so that he could go to Lima for the wedding. It was very hectic; he was putting in extra work in Vogue so that he could free his weekend and was also trying not to fall behind on his NYADA classes at the same time. But even with the extra effort, he had barely made it. The only way for him to attend was to leave Friday night and return early Sunday. He went through his morning classes then rushed to Vogue where he stayed more than he had anticipated; leaving him with barely enough time to pick up his bags and go to the airport.

He had arrived home late, only to be immediately swept in the familiar warm atmosphere that always graced the Hummel-Hudson household. He was thrilled to see his father, Finn and Carole, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. He did his best to ignore the voice in his head that told him that what was missing was a certain curly haired, bright eyed senior with a smile that could light the room.

Kurt shook his head violently in an attempt to push thoughts of Blaine aside. He was tired and stressed and just wanted to sleep. He dragged himself into the shower, willing the hot spray to calm him down. He groaned in frustration when it didn't help. Now that he was back home, he was plagued with memories of Blaine. He might have taken down all of Blaine's pictures the last time he was in Lima, but every single moment shared between the two of them in this room was coming back to him. The onslaught of emotion nearly brought him to his knees. Tears prickled his eyes as flashbacks of warm touches and soft promises swam in front of his eyes. His heart yearned for his other half but his head was doubtful, and he was tired, so very tired of being in a constant battle with himself.

He suddenly noticed that the water had turned cold and that he was shivering. He stumbled out only to nearly choke on his tears when he stepped back into his room. In his attempt to find a shirt, he had pulled out the drawer where he kept the promise ring Blaine had given him at Christmas. He slid down to the floor cradling it to his chest as tears started to fall. His feelings felt just as raw as they did that night in Battery Park and he couldn't understand why. He shouldn't be hurting that much, he shouldn't be reliving that pain as if it happened yesterday, and he sure as hell shouldn't be craving Blaine's presence that bad.

Kurt just couldn't stay in his room any longer. He recoiled from the ring like it burned him. He could almost feel the ghost of Blaine's touch, hear the echo of his promises, and it was suffocating. He couldn't think or breath anymore, he just wanted out. He threw a shirt over his head quickly then raced from the room. He only stopped when he reached the staircase, taking several shaky breaths. He sagged and sat down on the top stair. He buried his head in his hands in misery, trying to get his bearings. He was so lost in thought that he didn't feel his father behind him until he put his hand on his shoulder.

Burt took one look at his son's teary eyes and pained expression, and gently steered him down the stairs. He settled him on the couch then busied himself preparing cocoa for them both. He wanted to give Kurt time to calm down first before he attempted to talk to him. He was worried sick but he had to wait. Kurt was over strung and Burt really didn't want him pulling away or clamming up like he usually did. He smiled at the feeling of nostalgia that hit him. Kurt's mother had always prepared cocoa for young Kurt when he was upset, and Burt thought the subtle reminder of comfort and familiarity might put his son at ease. And judging by the weak smile that Kurt offered him when he handed him his mug, he was successful.

Both father and son drank in comfortable silence. Burt kept an eye on Kurt, waiting for him to relax enough to talk. Kurt scooted closer and rested his head on his father's shoulder, and Burt pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of his head. He frowned when Kurt tried to snuggle closer as if trying to bury himself in his father's embrace. That was something that young Kurt had done a thousand times, so to have his grown son seek comfort from him the same way he did as a small child meant that something was very wrong. Kurt had always been very strong and independent. Sure, he had always been honest with Burt and often sought his advice, but Burt knew that he had always tried to solve things on his own first. He only went to Burt when he couldn't take it anymore, or when things got out of control. Seeing him curled up in his father embrace with his face buried in the older man's neck broke Burt's heart.

Burt carded his hand slowly through his son's hair. A move, which would have normally earned him an indignant "Dad" and a huff, didn't even raise a single protest from his distraught son.

"What's brothering you, bud?" Burt enquired gently, pulling Kurt even closer.

The shuddering breath that met his question nearly brought tears to his eyes. Kurt was obviously in pain and he couldn't bear it. He waited patiently for Kurt to answer, his worry increasing as the minutes passed.

After what felt like hours, Kurt finally pulled away and turned to face his father. His feelings were burning in their intensity and his thoughts were all over the place. He desperately needed his father to ground him. But in order to do that, Burt needed to know all the details. He knew how excruciating it would be for him to talk about everything that had happened, but he needed to do it. He poured his heart out to his father. He told him about his conflicting feelings towards Blaine and how they were preventing him from starting a new relationship. He tried his best to skim over the fiasco with Adam, he doubted that the older man would want to know the details anyway, but he could tell from the disapproving look that Burt shot him that his father had guessed what happened. He explained that he was worried about meeting Blaine the next day at the wedding, when he still couldn't figure out what he wanted to do. He slumped against the couch when he finished; already feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Burt took a few minute to absorb everything Kurt had told him. He had seen the way Kurt and Blaine interacted at Christmas and he knew that they still had feelings for each other, which was the reason he was skeptical about Kurt dating Adam. He didn't think that Kurt's relationship with Adam held any weight. Whenever Kurt talked about Adam, Burt always got the feeling that Kurt was more excited about his new found confidence when it came to dating than he was about actually dating the NYADA senior.

He had feared that Kurt was rushing into this new relationship head first so that he could forget Blaine, and it seemed that he was right.

Burt guessed that Kurt had probably slept with Adam by the way he tried to gloss over his break up with Adam and his extremely guilty and uncomfortable expression. And how wrong was it to think of his baby boy and sex in the same sentence? Burt wasn't a fool; he knew that Kurt and Blaine had been intimate but he knew for a fact that it wasn't something that either of them took lightly. He was sure that it had been a mutual decision born out of love, which was exactly what he had asked of Kurt. Burt couldn't help but be disappointed in Kurt for being with someone when it didn't hold any meaning. But it looked like Kurt was already beating himself up over it so Burt decided to let it go.

And then there was Blaine. Burt had been furious with the boy for breaking his son's heart. Kurt had called him one night sobbing his heart out, and Burt had trouble believing that the same boy who was making heart eyes at his son and gazing at him like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen just a few short months ago, had actually cheated on the person he proclaimed to be "the love of his life".

But as the months passed, his anger started to fade. Burt had witnessed for himself how utterly broken Blaine was. He had arrived at Mckinley just in time to watch Blaine's performance in Grease. To the untrained eye, Blaine looked as charming and collected as ever, but a year of having the boy constantly at his house allowed Burt to see that Blaine was anything but fine. For the first time ever, Burt saw Blaine break character during a performance. His breath hitched and his eyes shined with tears when he looked to where Burt guessed Kurt was sitting. He was torn in that moment between being angry with the boy and feeling sorry for him. He had caught a glimpse of the very brief conversation that occurred between Kurt and Blaine, and was pretty sure that Kurt had given the other boy a piece of his mind. The broken expression on Blaine's face as Kurt left him behind tugged at Burt's heartstrings. He might be very angry and disappointed in the boy, but that didn't change the fact that he cared deeply for him. Burt would always be in Kurt's corner, but that didn't mean he would just stop caring about Blaine.

With Finn and Sam being in constant touch with Blaine, the latter even becoming his best friend, Burt had gotten a front row seat to the damage Blaine had inflicted upon himself. Both boys had mentioned Blaine's downward spiral and how he was willing to return to Dalton just to escape the memory of Kurt. Sam had confided in him that he thought that Blaine was only trying to punish himself further and Burt agreed. It was the only reason Burt could think of. Blaine's excuse of escaping the memories was a load of crap in Burt's opinion. Dalton held the memory of the boys' first meeting and first kiss; they had become a couple in this school. So if Blaine's plan was to return to Dalton to get away from reminders of his relationship with Kurt, then it wasn't a very good plan.

Burt knew that Kurt wouldn't forgive and forget easily and he couldn't blame him. He did his best to stay out of the situation, not wanting to push Kurt. He only dropped hints to him that maybe it was time for him to forgive Blaine. God knew that there was nothing any of them could do to Blaine worse than what the boy was already doing to himself. Burt took a risk in bringing Blaine with him to New York and he hoped that his risk would pay off. The way the boys clutched at each other when it was time to go assured him that he did the right thing.

However, the next few weeks brought new surprises. Burt was glad that the boys were taking steps in the right direction, slowly building their relationship again. But he was blindsided by Kurt's phone call about Adam. He grew more worried when nothing seemed amiss with Blaine. The senior had taken to visiting the Hummel-Hudson household at least twice a week under the pretense of doing homework with Sam, except that both boys always ended up spending their time with Burt instead of getting anything done. He had his doubts that Kurt had asked Blaine to look after him and while he was exasperated, his heart swelled with love for both boys. He had assumed that Kurt would tell Blaine about Adam, and when Blaine looked fine, he suspected that Kurt didn't tell him. Burt knew that Blaine was still in love with Kurt and he had no doubt that the boy would be devastated when he found out.

Now it looked like the boys had worked their way into a big hot mess. He had seen Blaine two days ago and he looked just as bad as Kurt. Kurt, who had drawn his knees up to his chest by this point, currently reminded Burt so much of the six year old who curled himself into a ball sobbing because some kid at the playground told him that he was a girl for hosting tea parties.

Burt reached for his son's hand, encasing it with his own. He smiled reassuringly at him, knowing that it would be very hard to guide Kurt through this without pressuring him into something he might not be ready for. "Are you still in love with Blaine?"

Kurt shook his head slowly and heaved a sigh. "It was never about falling out of love with him, Dad. It was just a question about whether I forgave him or not."

"And did you?" Burt prodded gently.

Tears welled up in Kurt's eyes. "I don't know," He answered truthfully. "All I know is that I think about him all the time. Being with someone else just feels….wrong. I didn't tell him about Adam because I didn't want to hurt him and I freaked out when he found out by accident. When I see something interesting, my first instinct is to tell him about it. God, even after I met Adam, he once complimented me on a dance move and the first thing out of my mouth was something about my ex being more of the dancer in our relationship," Kurt chuckled humorlessly while Burt shook his head fondly. His boy was still deeply in love with Blaine and either he couldn't see it, or he was just denying the fact out of fear of getting hurt again.

"Looks to me like you're still very much in love with him, kiddo. You're just refusing to give into your feelings"

Kurt's chin trembled dangerously and he wrapped his arms around himself. He knew that his father was right and he couldn't deny it any longer, but he was plagued with doubt.

"How can I trust him, Dad?" Kurt sobbed. "How can I trust that he won't fall off the wagon again when I return to New York? God, how can I even be with him knowing that I am not his one and only anymore? That someone else held him and kissed him and….."

"Kurt," Burt interrupted Kurt's rambling before he could get himself worked up. "I'm not saying that you should trust him immediately. He betrayed your trust and he needs to earn it back. But he can't do that if you don't give him the chance. He made a terrible mistake but he has been trying to atone for it ever since. You need to decide if you're willing to give him that second chance, if your love for him is enough to earn him that"

Kurt seemed to be mulling things over and Burt braced himself for what he was about to say. "And Kurt," He waited till Kurt met his eyes to continue. "If you decide that he deserves another chance, then you not being his one and only won't matter. I understand that you being each other's only meant a lot but it's not something worth pushing him away over. After all, he's no longer your only either"

Kurt flushed and opened his mouth to protest but Burt beat him to it. "I'm not saying that it's the same and I'm not condemning you for it. I don't like it but you're an adult and that was your mistake to make. But if you decide to take him back, you've got to tell him. You need to put everything in the open and be honest with each other, no matter how much it hurts."

Kurt appeared to be deep in thought so Burt decided to leave him to think things over. He stood up, reaching over to wrap Kurt into his arms, and smiled when Kurt clutched back at him just as tightly. He pulled back, cradling his son's face in his hand and whispered. "If you love him, then fight for him. Even if the person you have to fight is _him_. It won't be easy but that's okay. Love is worth it, _Blaine_ is worth it"

Kurt offered his dad a watery smile before returning to his room. He walked slowly to where he had dropped the promise ring and smiled sadly at the most precious gift Blaine had ever given him. He took a deep breath before opening his closet to retrieve the box where he had packed everything Blaine-related. He sat there for a long time just going through all the small reminders of his relationship with Blaine. Every picture, every small token reminded him of how happy they were. Tears were rolling freely down his cheeks but for the first time in months, he felt at peace. He had finally reached a decision. His father was right; he needed to give Blaine a chance to earn his forgiveness and trust. Because even though Blaine had hurt him badly, Kurt knew that the agony he had suffered through was a testament of how much he loved Blaine. It might take some time but Kurt believed that he would come to trust Blaine fully again. Blaine had made a huge mistake but it didn't define him. Because Kurt knew Blaine and the boy he knew wasn't a cheater.

Kurt stood up, picking a pile of pictures from the box. The picture on top was of his junior prom when Blaine had stepped up to dance with him after he was elected prom queen. It was one of Kurt's favorites; Blaine had turned what could have been one of the worst nights in Kurt's life into a bearable and almost enjoyable night. Kurt remembered how his heart had swelled with love for the younger boy as he conquered his fears in order to support Kurt. He traced Blaine's face in the photo, smiling softly. That was the real Blaine, the boy who had loved Kurt enough to dance with him in a gym filled with homophobic idiots who were trying to humiliate and break Kurt, the boy Kurt knew and loved, and he deserved to have a shot at forgiveness.

Kurt set the pictures on his nightstand. Now that he had made up his mind about Blaine, he was excited to see him tomorrow at the wedding. He hummed under his breath as he pulled his tuxedo out of the closet. He was searching for a tie when something caught his eye. He grinned at the black silk bowtie that was tucked in the corner. Blaine had gotten him that bowtie for his birthday and Kurt had teased him, saying that they needed to find a twelve step program to wean Blaine off his bowtie addiction. He ran his fingers over the soft fabric before glancing back at the tuxedo lying on his bed. He laid the bow tie on his dress shirt and nodded.

Perfect.


	4. Look I'm still around

_**A\N: **Hey guys. So this chapter is a bit longer than the others. It deals with Wemma wedding\ car scene, both of which I've tweaked a bit. This is my very first time writing smut, even something as light as this so be nice :) Hope you guys like it and I would love to hear what you think. Oh and the song used here is Miles by the insanely talented Christina Perri. You guys should check it out, it's a beautiful song._

* * *

**"The shattering of a heart being broken is the loudest quiet ever"**

**Carroll Bryant**

* * *

Blaine pulled into the parking lot of the hotel where the wedding was taking place and cut the engine. He leaned his head on the steering wheel and took a shuddering breath. He was exhausted. He had barely managed to get through the previous week with his sanity intact. He tried his best to push thoughts of Kurt aside and focus on school and Glee club, which might have worked if he hadn't been in contact with the other boy throughout the week to pick their duet and rehearse.

Yesterday was the worst. Finn had let slip that Kurt was arriving today and Blaine's thoughts strayed towards Kurt more than one. By night fall, Blaine had become fidgety and nervous. He must have picked his phone a thousand times with the intention of calling his ex before changing his mind at the last second. Finally, he had had enough and he called Sam asking after Kurt. His best friend indulged him and with a suffering sigh, told him that Kurt had made it safely.

Blaine had hung up feeling a little better. However, his relief was short-lived. Nerves began to set in and he started pacing his room. His conversations with Kurt had stayed firmly on the wedding preparations and neither tried to bring up their relationship, and Blaine was dreading meeting Kurt tomorrow. His anxiety kept him tossing and turning for hours before he fell into a fitful sleep. He only managed to catch a couple of hours of sleep and he was beat.

A knock on his window startled him. He turned his head sideways so he could look at Sam who was already reaching to open the door.

"You plan to come in or what? You've been sitting here for over ten minutes, dude"

The only response he got was a muffled groan as Blaine barely acknowledged him. Sam raised his brow at the shorter boy and pulled him out of the car. Blaine scowled at him as he locked his car. He glanced worriedly at the hotel entrance before asking timidly. "Did he arrive yet?"

Sam nodded and Blaine exhaled sharply. Sam clasped his shoulder, silently asking if he was okay and Blaine tried to smile, which came out more like a grimace but Sam didn't comment. He fell in step beside Sam, allowing the blond to steer him into the right direction.

Blaine was swarmed the second he stepped foot in the room. All of the New Directions, old and new, were already there, and he went around the room, saying hellos and accepting hugs from the graduated members. His heart started hammering in his chest when he spotted Kurt in a corner, chatting with Burt and Carol. He sucked in a breath, mentally preparing himself before he made his way to them. Carol smiled when she saw him and Kurt, who had his back to Blaine, turned around to see who she was smiling at. Blaine's breath caught in his throat as soon as Kurt turned around. Kurt was gorgeous with his perfectly coiffed hair and figure-hugging tux, and was that a bowtie?

Blaine blushed violently when he realized that he was staring openly at Kurt. He met Kurt's eyes, offering a shy. "Hi"

Kurt, for his part, didn't seem to mind his staring. He smiled at Blaine and tugged him into his arms. Their hug was brief but it filled Kurt with peace. He lingered for a moment, reveling in the feeling of Blaine in his arms again before pulling back. "Hi yourself," He couldn't help but run his eyes up and down Blaine's figure appreciatively. "You look incredible"

Blaine's blush deepened and he averted his eyes for a second. He was painfully aware of Kurt's eyes on him and for some reason, it made him uneasy. He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "Thanks. Um, you…you look good too"

Kurt frowned at Blaine's obvious discomfort. The shorter boy moved around him to greet his father and Carol then excused himself quickly, making his way to where Sam stood with Tina and Brittany, leaving a baffled Kurt in his walk.

"Not a word" Blaine hissed at Sam who was about to comment. His best friend eyed his disapprovingly but let it go. Blaine knew that he was a coward and he really didn't need Sam to spell it out for him. He couldn't bear being in such close vicinity to Kurt. He was supposed to keep his distance and not pressure Kurt, but he was having trouble keeping himself in check. Standing with Kurt was agonizing, especially considering that the only thing Blaine wanted to do was to take Kurt into his arms and kiss him senseless. So he ran, he ran from Kurt and he ran from his feelings. He ran, like he always did.

Kurt stared after Blaine, hurt bubbling inside of him. It looked like Blaine was unable to be in his presence and it killed him. He started to doubt himself. Did Blaine not want to talk to him? Did he push Blaine away so much that the boy didn't want to be with him anymore?

Burt noticed his troubled expression and nudged him. "Give him a break, bud. He is just as lost as you are and it can't be easy for him to see you, not knowing where you two stand"

Kurt nodded at his father's words. His head agreed with his father but he couldn't help the tightening in his chest. He never thought he would see the day when Blaine would run away from him. Watching the other boy situate himself as far away from him as possible killed Kurt. He wanted to talk to Blaine desperately but now wasn't the right time. Maybe he could catch up with him after the wedding.

Finn walked in then, signaling that the wedding was about to start and everyone shuffled to their seats. Kurt and Blaine were sitting on opposite sides but that didn't stop them from stealing glances at each other. The ceremony was beautiful and both boys lost themselves in the feeling of absolute joy and love that filled the room. Blaine glanced at Kurt during the vow exchange, and he was entrapped by the sparkle in his eyes as he grinned widely at the couple. Blaine knew that Kurt loved weddings. He still remembered the one time that Kurt described to him what his dream wedding would be like, while Blaine nodded, agreeing silently that it would be perfect for _their_ wedding. Of course, Blaine never said it out loud but the look on his face told Kurt what he was thinking, and Kurt had bestowed a deep sensual kiss upon his boyfriend which turned into a round of love making.

A bittersweet smile crossed Blaine's face at the memory. He blinked away the tears that sprang to his eyes and forced himself to focus on the wedding. He stood up and clapped with the rest as the bride and groom shared their first kiss as a married couple. Despite his heartache, he was genuinely happy for them. They made their way outside and Blaine found himself wrapped in Carol's arms as she and Burt said goodbye and left to catch a flight to DC. Kurt came to join Blaine, Sam, Finn and Mike where they stood, and slowly coaxed Blaine into a conversation. They kept it light and slowly, Blaine started to relax.

They were ushered into the reception after that and the New Directions cheered up a storm when the newlyweds were introduced for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Shuester, and Blaine got swept into their enthusiasm. They were all sitting around two tables that were pushed together, joking and teasing each other. Finn and Rachel performed Colbie Caillat's I Do for the first dance and by the time they were done, the mood was relaxed and happy and it was infectious. Blaine caught Kurt's eye during the song and the older teen flashed him a brilliant smile which Blaine couldn't help but return. They all took turns singing until it was time for Blaine and Kurt's duet.

Kurt was grinning like a mad man when the music started. He was having a great time and it looked like Blaine was too. Good, that would make their conversation after the wedding so much easier. He gazed at Blaine as the younger boy started to sing.

_I'm scared today, more than I told you I was yesterday_

_Give me a moment to catch my breath_

_And hold me every second left_

_Proud of me, that's the only way I want you to be_

_Look at me and love_

_What you see_

_I won't make it alone_

_I need something to hold_

Blaine felt his happiness dissipate halfway through his part. Weren't those the exact same words he said to Kurt just before their first time? He had wanted Kurt to be proud of him. Kurt didn't have to be with him but he chose to anyway, because he loved Blaine for who he was. And that meant everything to Blaine which was the reason he yearned for Kurt to be proud of him. He wanted to feel worthy of Kurt's love. But he screwed it all up. He wondered what Kurt saw now when he looked at him. Did he see the boy who loved him with every fiber of his being? Or did he only see the boy who broke his heart? Kurt was joining him now on the song and Blaine pushed his pain down.

_Kiss me on my shoulder_

_Tell me it's not over_

_I promise to always come home to you_

_Remind me that I'm older_

_To be brave, smart, sweet and bolder_

_And don't give up on what we're trying to do_

_Don't count the miles_

_Count the I love you's_

Kurt was oblivious to Blaine's torturous thoughts. He was enjoying himself tremendously. He had missed this, missed singing with Blaine and performing in front of their friends. He swayed with the music as he started his solo part

_We made it out_

_And all the other people are asking how_

_That doesn't sound like truth_

_To grow from a bruise_

_But one day, we will realize_

_How hard it was, how hard we tried_

_And how our hearts made it out alive_

Kurt raised his voice slightly as the lyrics touched him. They described him and Blaine perfectly. Yes, what they went through was painful but they were trying hard to push through. Seeing Blaine today made Kurt realize just how much he had missed him. He just knew that they would make it, together.

Kurt was so focused on his thoughts that he missed the way Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to escape the words. Pain coursed through him when Kurt sang the next part.

_And these are words I wish you said_

_But that's not how it went_

_Cause you gave up on us in the end_

_And I won't make it alone_

_I need something to hold_

Blaine was fighting a losing battle with his emotions now. He was trying so hard to keep his composure but the words Kurt just sang felt like a knife to his heart. Blaine had given up on his and Kurt's relationship. He should have said something; he should have fought harder for them. But he allowed his insecurities to take hold of him and in a moment of sheer stupidity, threw away everything they had.

Kurt was looking at Blaine in concern. He had glanced at him with a smile at the end of his solo, only to notice the changes in his demeanor. He realized that the words he just sang must have cut Blaine too deep and his heart broke as he watched the boy he loved come undone in front of his eyes. What made it worse in Kurt's opinion was that Blaine was trying his best not to let it show. But Kurt knew by the way Blaine's eyes were trained on a spot above everybody's heads and the way he grasped the microphone stand for support that the younger teen was barely keeping it together. Watching Blaine trying to maintain a strong façade when he was obviously hurting was even more heartbreaking than if Blaine had an actual break down during the song.

_Kiss me on my shoulder_

_Tell me it's not over_

_I promise to always come home to you_

_Remind me that I'm older_

_To be brave, smart, sweet and bolder_

_And don't give up on what we're trying to do_

Both boys poured their hearts out in the final chorus. Their voices soared together, blending in a way that left their audience entrapped. All of their worry, pain, love and confusion bled into the song, leaving them gasping for breath. Kurt turned slightly to Blaine who looked to be in a trance and sang the final lines straight at him.

_Don't count the miles_

_Count the I love you's_

The room erupted in applause but Kurt didn't care. He kept his eyes trained on Blaine who plastered a polite smile for the sake of Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury who pulled both boys into hugs, gushing about how beautiful the song was. Blaine did his best to hold the smile for a few minutes before excusing himself and all but bolting from the room.

* * *

Blaine broke into a run as soon as he left the reception. He stumbled blindly to his car, barely making it before he broke. His chest hurt with the force of his sobs and he felt physically ill. He hadn't thought twice about the song when Kurt suggested it. He thought that it fit Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury perfectly, considering that Mr. Shue had spent the last couple of months in DC. What he didn't foresee was his own reaction to the song. The song also fit him and Kurt but he hadn't noticed until he was singing it and feeling the lyrics cut through him.

Blaine blinked back his tears and tried to regulate his breath. Now wasn't the time for him to break down. Not only did he have a wedding to get back to, but he also didn't want to ruin the day for anyone. Today was Valentine's Day after all. His friends were celebrating and having fun and he didn't want to put a damper on the mood. He was pretty sure than Sam would come looking for him sooner or later and he didn't want the blond to abandon his girlfriend for him.

Unknown to Blaine, Kurt was standing several meters away, watching him. He had followed Blaine as soon as he left; only stopping when he noticed the condition Blaine was in. Blaine was hunched over in the driver's seat with his forehead resting on the steering wheel. Even from a distance, Kurt could see the tremors that wrecked the younger boy's body. He went to join Blaine, praying to be able to ease Blaine's pain.

Blaine startled when Kurt climbed into the passenger's seat. He quickly turned his face away and wiped his tears. He didn't want Kurt to see him like that. He masked his emotions, adopting a neutral expression as he acknowledged Kurt.

Pain bloomed in Kurt's chest as he watched Blaine try to hide his feelings from him. Blaine was throwing up protective walls around himself and Kurt didn't know what to do. Just the idea that Blaine thought he needed to protect himself from Kurt killed something in him.

"What are you doing here?" Blaine did his best to sound strong but the raspiness in his voice gave him away. He stared straight ahead, refusing to look at Kurt

Kurt didn't answer right away. He regarded Blaine's guarded expression with a heavy heart. He touched Blaine's shoulder tentatively and flinched when Blaine jerked away.

"Don't push me away, Blaine" Kurt pleaded.

Blaine chuckled darkly. "Shouldn't I be the one asking that of you?"

Kurt reached out, forcibly turning Blaine's head to face him. He met his eyes as he spoke clearly. "You're pulling away. You always pull away when you are in pain. I know you and I know that you're trying to hide your pain from me so don't"

Blaine shut his eyes tightly. "What do you want from me, Kurt?" His voice broke and he trailed off.

"I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"Why?" Blaine whispered in defeat.

"Because I can't stand the idea of you being in pain. Because I hate seeing you suffering"

Blaine shook his head violently. He didn't want Kurt's pity; he didn't want someone who was only there because he felt sorry for him. Kurt misunderstood his gesture, thinking that Blaine didn't believe him. He took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to continue. "And because I love you"

The effect was immediate but it wasn't what Kurt expected. Blaine froze for a minute before gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. He couldn't go through that again. All the emotions he bottled up or pushed aside throughout the last few months slammed into him and Blaine lashed out.

"You don't get to do that, not again" Blaine hissed angrily. "You don't get to tell me that you love me out of pity then take it back later. You can't do that"

"Blaine, I…" Kurt tried to interject but Blaine wasn't done.

"You told me that you loved me on Thanksgiving. You gave me hope that we could work things out then told me that you wanted to be _friends_." Blaine spat.

Kurt was shaking by this point. Blaine's words lashed him violently and he struggled to find his voice. He did tell Blaine that he loved him on Thanksgiving but he never meant to string him along. He had meant what he said, he never stopped loving Blaine but he was wary. He was hurting and he didn't want to take Blaine back when he was still struggling to forgive him. That could have destroyed their relationship completely. But Blaine was right, Kurt did say that he loved him and he did give him false hope, even if he hadn't meant to.

"I didn't mean to do that to you. I would never hurt you intentionally, Blaine. All I ever wanted was to look after you" Kurt's voice shook as he willed the younger boy to understand.

"That's not your job anymore," Blaine snapped at him. "I'm not yours anymore so just stop."

Kurt swallowed thickly. "It'll always be my job. I'll always care for you, no matter what"

Kurt was trying so hard to reach out to Blaine but the senior was too far gone. Lost in a haze of pain and guilt, he took it out on the one person who didn't deserve it. Kurt's words didn't provide any comfort; they just made Blaine hate himself more. He had hurt Kurt in the worst way possible and yet, Kurt was still here, attempting to help him. He didn't deserve Kurt's love, why couldn't Kurt understand this?

"I slept with another guy," Blaine shouted at him. He wanted Kurt to just leave him and go. Blaine deserved to be alone, he deserved to feel this pain, and Kurt was trying to make him feel better. He didn't get that Blaine deserved to wallow in his misery and if the only way for Blaine to make Kurt understand was by reminding him of his unfaithfulness, then so be it. "I went to him willingly. I gave myself to him. I…."

He was cut off by Kurt's lips crashing on his. He shuddered as the NYADA student trapped him in his seat, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was in heaven and in hell at the same time. Feeling Kurt's lips on his own was heavenly but the ache in his chest persisted. As if able to sense his dilemma, Kurt used his tongue to part Blaine's lips roughly and all thoughts left Blaine in a rush. His hands rose on their own accord, circling Kurt's neck and pulling him closer. The kiss was tainted with pain and desperation but Blaine didn't care. He released himself into Kurt's care and surrendered himself to his soul mate.

Blaine's words made something snap inside Kurt. Hot jealousy coursed through his veins when unwanted mental images of a faceless man pleasuring Blaine invaded his brain. He didn't know what came over him in that moment. One moment he was nearly having a break down because of Blaine's words, the next he was surging forward, connecting his lips to Blaine's and kissing him with fervor. The kiss was hard and almost punishing, so very different from their usual soft kisses but the jealousy consuming Kurt didn't allow for anything else. Kurt was stalking out a claim to Blaine, simple as that.

Kurt felt Blaine give into the kiss and reached for the lever on his seat, lowering the seat till Blaine was flat on his back, head resting against the back seat. Blaine let out a moan as Kurt straddled him, kissing him hungrily. His entire body trembled as Kurt slipped his hands beneath his shirt, running his hand across his stomach. He felt Kurt harden against him and he tore his mouth away from Kurt's, gasping as his body responded.

Kurt's moves were desperate in his haste to divest Blaine of his clothes. He pushed Blaine's shirt open before pulling back slightly. He rested a hand on Blaine's chest to stop him from moving and shrugged off his own shirt and jacket. He reached for his wallet with trembling fingers to pull out a condom and a packet of lube, tossing them onto the back seat, near Blaine's head.

Blaine wasn't fighting him. He gave Kurt complete control of his body and just took everything the older boy gave him. He was tired of being in pain and Kurt's touch eased that pain. In that moment, it didn't matter that he had no idea where he stood with Kurt. He didn't want to think about it. He only wanted to lose himself in the other boy. He was trusting Kurt to take care of him and there was no doubt in his mind that Kurt would.

Kurt's eyes roamed over Blaine. The younger boy was flushed and pliant beneath him and Kurt wasted no time in diving back to kiss him. He fastened his mouth on Blaine's collar bone and sucked, leaving a dark hickey against the tanned skin. He felt a deep satisfaction as he marked Blaine as his. He felt Blaine writhe beneath him and smiled against his skin. He sat back on his heels, reaching for Blaine's belt and in a few seconds, Blaine was left exposed to his gaze.

Blaine gasped harshly in response and Kurt's gaze snapped to meet his eyes. Glasz locked onto hazel and something in Kurt shifted. He slowed down as he became aware of what he was doing. Blaine's eyes were glazed over and Kurt reached a trembling finger to brush against his cheek. This was Blaine, the same boy who always made him feel like the most precious thing in the world with his gentle caresses and soft touches, the same boy who had pulled Kurt into his arms after their first time, cuddling him and murmuring endearments in his ear. Kurt couldn't make this a meaningless quickie in the back of a car, Blaine deserved better than that.

Kurt slowly covered Blaine's body with his. He could feel Blaine's heart hammering against his hand and he pressed a kiss over Blaine's chest. His fingers ghosted over Blaine's face soothingly in an attempt to bring him down from the overwhelming high Kurt had worked him into with his assault on Blaine's senses. Blaine's eyes cleared a little after a few minutes and Kurt brushed a gentle kiss against his lips.

Kurt pulled back, shimmering out of the rest of his clothes quickly and reaching for the lube. He tugged Blaine up so that the younger boy was half sitting before propping himself over him. He kissed Blaine softly, running his tongue over the roof of his mouth as he eased a finger inside of Blaine. Blaine gripped at his forearm and Kurt nuzzled his neck tenderly. His fingers danced in a warm caress over Blaine's chest as he worked him open slowly.

Blaine threw his head back, shivering in pleasure. Kurt knew exactly which spots made him crazy and he made sure to lick and nuzzle at them. Blaine was aware of nothing but Kurt at this point. His mind was completely blank. Kurt had wrapped him in a cocoon of love and pleasure and Blaine was happily drowning. He groaned in protest when Kurt slipped his fingers free. He tried his best to focus on Kurt and found him reaching for the condom.

Blaine's bliss evaporated and he nearly dissolved in tears at the sight. Before Kurt left for New York, he and Blaine had started to forgo condoms. They decided to take a step further in their relationship and stopped using protection all together. Both were sure that they were it for each other and they trusted each other enough to stop using protection. But that trust was gone now. Blaine had destroyed it and there was no going back. Kurt didn't trust him anymore and this was just a physical evidence of how badly Blaine broke them.

Kurt picked up on Blaine's distress immediately. He regarded the younger boy in puzzlement but Blaine just shut his eyes against the piercing blue eyes that had the ability to see through his soul. Kurt ran his hands up and down Blaine's sides gently and Blaine forced himself to stop thinking and focus on Kurt's touch. He relaxed under Kurt's ministrations and the older boy positioned himself, inching into Blaine slowly. He stilled when he was buried inside of Blaine, giving him time to adjust. A single tear rolled down Blaine's face and Kurt kissed it away. He peppered Blaine's face with tiny kisses as he began thrusting into him.

Kurt could feel every inch of Blaine's body pressed against him and he felt a wave of emotion sweep over him. He felt so connected to Blaine, with their heart beating together and their bodies joined as one. They were even sharing the same breath. With Kurt's forehead resting on Blaine's, he could feel every gasp that escaped his lover's mouth. Blaine was letting out soft mewls that drove Kurt crazy with desire.

Blaine was the picture of debauchment with his head thrown back in ecstasy and his lips swollen from kissing. Kurt attached his mouth to Blaine's, sucking on his lower lip slowly as he brushed against his prostate. He reveled in the moan that escaped Blaine's lips and he quickened his pace, making sure to drive into Blaine's prostate every now and then. Blaine arched into him, digging his fingers into Kurt's shoulders as he began to lose control.

Blaine started mumbling a litany of incoherent words and Kurt knew he was close. He angled his hips, assaulting Blaine's prostate repeatedly and sending the younger boy over the edge. The tightening of Blaine's walls around him was too much for Kurt and he followed Blaine into bliss.

Kurt collapsed on top of Blaine, trying to catch his breath. He buried his face in Blaine's neck, breathing in his scent as he waited for his heart to slow down. He pulled out of Blaine as gently as possible, dragging a moan from the exhausted boy beneath him. He hovered over Blaine, worried that he had hurt him.

Blaine looked at Kurt with half lidded eyes and smiled sleepily at him. The lack of sleep had finally caught up with him and he could barely keep his eyes open. He felt Kurt's soft touches over his body and shivered when he felt something soft and wet running over his heated skin, but he was far too tired to question what it was. He vaguely registered Kurt tugging at his hips and Blaine raised them obediently, feeling fabric encasing his body. Kurt tried to straighten his shirt but Blaine whined at him, turning onto his side and pressing himself against the car's door. A hand brushed away his sweaty curls before a warm body settled next to him and he was enveloped in a familiar pair of arms. He barely felt the kiss that was brushed against his jaw as he lost his battle with sleep.

Kurt smiled fondly at Blaine's antics. The younger boy was half asleep as Kurt used some tissues and a bottle of water to clean them both up as best as he could. Kurt pulled on his clothes then tried to coax Blaine into his pants. He wanted nothing more than to let him sleep but they were in the parking lot after all. He finally succeeded in pulling Blaine's pants up but as he reached to button his shirt, the boy scooted away, whining at him. Kurt chuckled softly before tucking himself into Blaine's side. He pulled the sleepy boy into his arms and sighed as Blaine curled into him instantly.

Kurt let his gaze sweep over Blaine and his heart swelled with love for the gorgeous boy curled around him. Blaine's lips were parted slightly and his soft breath caressed Kurt's face. Kurt shook his head in exasperation at the sight Blaine made. Trust Blaine Anderson to look devastatingly _innocent_ right after sex. Kurt cradled Blaine's face and smiled when Blaine leaned into his touch. He didn't know how long he just stayed there, gazing at Blaine. Before he knew it, his eyes grew heavy and he let Blaine's even breath and steady heartbeat lull him to sleep.


	5. My missing puzzle piece

_**A\N:**__ Hey guys. How are you doing with all of the Klaine spoilers that are coming up? I've had a serious hard time with this chapter because of them. It's very hard to write angst when you're bouncing in excitement and wishing it to be Thursday already. Anyway, this chapter is the longest chapter I've ever written. I'm really proud of it and I hope you guys enjoy it. Just a quick remark, I'm ignoring creepy Tina that rubs others' chests when they're asleep. Blina are strictly friends in this fic. They're fairly close but not as close as Blam._

_Also, to the anon who was asking if Blaine knows about Kurt sleeping with Adam. No, he doesn't but he find will out in this chapter. I get where you're coming from with Kadam but I can't really blame Kurt for it. If I could forgive Blaine for cheating on Kurt which is wrong and hurtful, then I can't be upset with Kurt for sleeping with Adam. When you compare the two situations, you'll see that Blaine was the one in the wrong while Kurt was just trying to move on from the pain Blaine caused him. However, Kurt does feel guilty for sleeping with Adam, because he wasn't ready and he didn't love Adam. __I don't like Kadam because I'm a hard core Klainer _but I think that in a way, it helped because it gave Kurt the opportunity to understand Blaine a little better. I'm not sure I'm making any sense but I hope that the way this whole thing is dealt with in this chapter satisfies you. Thank you so much for your review, I love it when people discuss different aspects of the story with me.

* * *

**"But even when I stop crying, even when we fall asleep and I'm nestled in his arms, this will leave another scar. No one will see it. No one will know. But it will be there. And eventually all of the scars will have scars, and that's all I'll be- one big scar of a love gone wrong"**

**Amanda Grace, But I Love Him**

* * *

A loud knock cut through Kurt's sleepy haze. He blinked in confusion when he felt a warm body next to him before it all came back to him, the wedding, the duet and _Blaine_. He tightened his hold on the sleeping boy and pulled him closer instinctively. Another rap on the car's window reminded him of the reason he woke up, and he raised his head from where it was buried against Blaine's neck. He flushed violently when he was greeted by the sight of Sam staring at them in disbelief. Everything about Kurt and Blaine screamed sex and Kurt really could have gone without one of his friends seeing him and Blaine like that.

Sam, to his credit, looked to be taking it in his stride. He looked vaguely uncomfortable but there was no disgust in his expression, and Kurt was grateful. He was surprised though by the way Sam's whole demeanor changed when he looked at Blaine. His eyes softened considerably as they swept over the sleeping boy, and Kurt was taken back by the fierce protectiveness that shone on the blond's face. Sam finally met his eyes and Kurt smiled awkwardly. He became painfully aware of how his body was pressed tightly against Blaine's and pulled back a little. Sam rolled his eyes at Kurt before motioning to Blaine and jerking his head towards the hotel. Kurt nodded at him, acknowledging Sam's unspoken indication that their absence had been noticed. He reached over to shake Blaine's shoulder to wake him up. Blaine's eyes opened slightly before fluttering closed again and Kurt sighed.

"Blaine, wake up" Kurt urged gently. "Sam is here and we have to get back inside"

At the mention of his best friend's name, Blaine's eyes flew open. He was having a pleasant dream where he was wrapped tightly in Kurt's arms after making love, and he didn't want to wake up. Dream Kurt was talking to him softly and Blaine sank deeper into his embrace. It wasn't until he said something about Sam being there that Blaine realized that Kurt was actually talking to him.

Blaine blinked blearily at Kurt, confusion clouding his mind. He turned his head slightly to peer at Sam before pushing himself up slowly. He rubbed at his eyes and froze when he noticed his unbuttoned shirt. His head snapped to where Kurt was sitting beside him, taking in his disheveled appearance. So it wasn't a dream, he really did sleep with Kurt and now, Sam was standing right outside his window.

Kurt gave Blaine some time to come to grips with the situation. Blaine seemed out of it and Kurt waited to make sure he was fully awake before offering him the bottle of water. Blaine accepted it silently and Kurt reached for their jackets that were thrown on the front seat before pausing. Sam was still outside and while they were mostly clothed and Sam had probably guessed what had occurred between them, the idea of trying to make themselves look presentable after sex under the watchful gaze of one of their friends was a little creepy. He glanced at Sam uncertainly, ready to ask him to give them a minute. But Sam, bless his soul, already had his back to them in an obvious attempt to give them a semblance of privacy, and Kurt smiled at the blond's thoughtfulness.

Kurt's eyes were drawn to Blaine who was sipping his water absently. Blaine looked dazed and Kurt cursed under his breath as the ramification of what they had done came to him. Blaine was already confused about them, he clearly still harbored a big amount of guilt and he was hurting, and Kurt had gone ahead and slept with him. _Not your brightest moment, Hummel_, his head supplied and he sighed in frustration. He had probably just succeeded in confusing Blaine even more. But he had told him that he loved him; he made that perfectly clear so Blaine must know, right?

Blaine shifted slightly then winced, and Kurt was immediately on high alert: "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

Kurt was frantic. Of course Blaine wasn't okay but he couldn't bear the thought of the younger boy being in physical pain on top of everything else. He was already moving closer to Blaine to help. Help how, he wasn't sure but his instincts just drove him closer to his lover.

"I'm-I'm okay. Just, um, just a little uncomfortable, that's all" Blaine answered hesitantly. "We should probably…." He trailed off, waving a hand in Sam's general direction.

"Yeah, yeah" Kurt agreed and handed Blaine his jacket. They both straightened up their clothes as best as they could. An awkward silence hung heavily between them. Neither knew what to say and both were afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Blaine was hesitant to bring up the subject. He wasn't delusional; their sleeping together didn't mean they were a couple again. Things just weren't that simple; this wasn't a normal fight where they would just kiss and make up. He was terrified that Kurt was only acting upon some lingering feelings he still had for Blaine, and they would just go back to the way they were. Were they falling into old patterns just because of familiarity? Was that Kurt's way of comforting him or even saying goodbye? Did he regret it? Kurt said that he loved him, but was that enough for him to forgive Blaine?

Kurt was hyper aware of every movement Blaine made. The senior's expression was troubled and Kurt wondered what was going through his mind. Blaine wasn't freaking out anymore but Kurt knew that one wrong move would make him shut down. One thing Kurt knew for sure, he couldn't let Blaine think that what they did was a mistake. He had to let him know that he had wanted this as much as Blaine did. He scooted closed tentatively and rested a hand on Blaine's knee. The senior halted in his attempt to tame the curls that had sprang free from their gelled prison and looked at him questionably.

"I just…What we just did…You were…" Kurt broke off in frustration. Nothing was coming out right and he looked at Blaine helplessly. He had many things he wanted to say but he had no time to do it now. And he had just managed to complicate the whole situation more by pouncing on Blaine. He locked eyes with Blaine and the vulnerability in the younger boy's eyes tugged at his heart. He leaned his forehead against Blaine's for a minute before pulling back.

"We need to talk and we will, just not now. But I just wanted to say thank you. I haven't felt this good in a long time"

Kurt's eyes sparkled with sincerity as he spoke. Being with Blaine felt right and it healed the gaping hole in Kurt's heart that had been there since the break up. He was thankful that Blaine didn't push him away, that he trusted Kurt to care for him in his most vulnerable state. Blaine had trusted Kurt with his heart even when he was confused as hell, and being so connected to Blaine emotionally and physically just solidified Kurt's resolve to work on their relationship. He just hoped that Blaine would understand how much today meant to him.

Blaine's eyes widened at Kurt's words. Of all the things he expected Kurt to say, that was by far the worst. Kurt was talking about feeling good and Blaine's heart shattered. Was that how Kurt regarded what happened between them, just a mean of physical pleasure? Did their relationship really sink that low?

But Kurt was smiling at him. He was looking at him with such intensity that Blaine felt he would spontaneously combust from the heat in Kurt's gaze. Kurt reached for his hand at that moment to give it a gentle reassuring squeeze, and Blaine's head swam. The small confined space they were sitting in felt suffocating and before he knew it, he was throwing the door open and stumbling out.

Kurt's smile fell when Blaine failed to even acknowledge him. Blaine was shutting down in front of his eyes and Kurt couldn't understand the reason. He blinked in surprise when Blaine got out of the car so quickly that he stumbled. He moved to follow him silently, hoping to figure out what was bothering him.

Sam turned at the sound of the door being opened and quickly reached out a hand to steady Blaine. He frowned at the unfocused look in Blaine's eyes and turned to Kurt who looked as bewildered as Sam felt. Kurt looked at him helplessly and Sam's confusion grew. What the hell was going on with these two? He was half ready to tease the hell out of them both when they finally emerged from the car, but Blaine looked resigned while Kurt was basically on the verge of tears. Gone were the two peaceful boys that were curled around each other not ten minutes ago, and in their stead, stood two eerily silent boys that were carrying themselves way too stiffly for comfort.

"Blaine?" Sam called gently, laying his hand on the shorter boy's back.

Blaine's eyes snapped up to meet his and Sam was taken back by the raw emotion in them. Blaine looked dead on his feet and Sam faltered. Was now really the right time to push this? Kurt looked like he needed some answers but Blaine was nowhere near ready. His eyes begged Sam to let it go and Sam relented. He looked at Kurt apologetically and the other boy just smiled sadly at him.

"Let's go inside. Everyone is wondering where you are at" Sam used the hand on Blaine's back to guide him to the hotel.

The three boys made their way inside in silence. It wasn't until they neared the reception hall that Blaine stopped, mumbling something about freshening up. Sam and Kurt locked eyes instantly. A silent agreement passed between them that Blaine shouldn't be alone. As much as Kurt wanted to stay, he knew it wouldn't help. He wasn't even sure that Blaine would welcome his touch or presence right now. He looked at Sam with a plea in his eyes and Sam nodded, promising silently to look after Blaine.

With a parting look, Kurt strode towards the reception. His heart was heavy and he was beating himself up for making Blaine feel this way. He didn't know what he said to make Blaine shut down like that. Oh, how he wished he could stay with Blaine, but Sam was the better choice right now. It looked like the two boys had gotten closer judging by the way they behaved around each other. Kurt had noticed the way Blaine leaned subconsciously into Sam while walking, and he was blown away by the gentle way Sam was handling Blaine with. Yes, Sam was the best choice. Blaine clearly trusted him and Sam had a better chance in getting Blaine to open up more than Kurt did. But he couldn't just leave Blaine. Kurt stood contemplating for a moment before he doubled back to where he left Sam and Blaine. He would stay away but he wanted to be there in case Blaine needed him. He returned just in time to see the two boys disappear into the bathroom.

Blaine slumped against Sam as soon as Kurt was out of sight. The blond grunted softly as he supported most of the his friend's weight. Blaine was trembling in his arms and it was clear to Sam that he was close to breaking down. He dragged him to the nearest bathroom and propped him against the sink, forcing Blaine to lean against the cool ceramic. The last thing he needed was for Blaine to have a panic attack, which judging by the way the shorter boy looked, he was already working his way marvelously towards. He rested his hand between Blaine's shoulder blades and rubbed soothingly. Blaine's breath was coming out in short gasps and Sam leaned closer to his best friend.

"It's okay, Blaine. Just breathe with me. It's alright, come on" He encouraged Blaine and slowly, the other boy's breath evened out.

Sam pulled back, allowing Blaine room to straighten up. He met his tear-filled gaze in the mirror and without a word, stepped forward to wrap his arms around the shorter boy. Blaine shuddered against him and Sam tightened his hold on him. They stood like that for several minutes until Sam felt the tremors wrecking Blaine's body lessen.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" Sam prodded him. He didn't know if Blaine wanted to talk about it or not but he hoped he did. If not, then Sam would back off, he wasn't about to force Blaine to have a conversation when he was this distraught.

Luckily, it seemed Blaine did want to talk. "I slept with Kurt"

"I know," Sam stated simply. "And while I am surprised because you never said anything about getting back together, I don't know why you're reacting so badly"

"We are not back together, Sam" Blaine's voice broke and Sam gaped at him. "We just screwed each other"

Sam flinched violently at Blaine's choice of words. Polite, dapper Blaine never used that language. In other circumstances, Blaine would have been embarrassed for being so crude with Sam, but now, he simply didn't seem to care.

"Don't say that," Sam chastised instantly. "That's not who you and Kurt are. That's not your relationship"

"We don't have a relationship, Sam" Blaine's voice was boarding on hysterical at the point. "I've screwed that up pretty good. So now, we have sex in a car at the hotel where our choir director and guidance counselor got married. Classy, isn't it?"

"Blaine," Sam tried to cut him off but Blaine was too worked up to let him.

"The only time we ever came close to something like this, I was drunk out of my mind. Unfortunately, I don't have this excuse now. But hey, it's totally fine. Because I made Kurt feel good and he thanked me. He actually thanked me for surrendering myself to him to do whatever he pleased. Guess that's what you would expect from a cheater, right?"

"Stop it" Sam shouted at Blaine, horrified at the awful, self-deprecating words that tumbled from Blaine's mouth.

Blaine's words were describing a nightmarish encounter that was just impossible to happen between these two boys. Sam knew both Kurt and Blaine, and there was no way things had gotten that bad between them. He refused to believe that Kurt would just take advantage of Blaine like that, and he knew that deep down, Blaine knew that Kurt would never use him just for sex. Hell, Kurt would never use anyone just for sex, let alone the boy he loved. Blaine must have misread the situation and let his self-loathing bleed into it.

Blaine was breathing heavily and Sam approached him cautiously. "Blaine, let me ask you a question. Is Kurt the kind of person to just use you like that then toss you aside? Do you think he's capable of something like that?"

The scandalized look on Blaine's face confirmed Sam's suspicion. Blaine had built his whole theory on the feeling that _he_ deserved to be punished that way because cheating on Kurt had made him feel dirty. He completely disregarded the fact that in order for this scenario to happen, Kurt would have to be someone who didn't care about him at all, which Blaine knew wasn't true.

It made sense, Sam supposed. Blaine was the same guy who was adamant that he was not for sale the year before and who had classified flirty texts as cheating. Blaine clearly had a black and white view on the whole thing. Him cheating was the worst offense he could ever commit and he now saw himself as tainted. Sam realized that Blaine never forgave himself for what he did to Kurt. He might have done his best to move on but the guilt remained, eating away at him. And Blaine had turned against himself in an attempt to atone for what he had done. Sam wasn't even sure that Blaine believed that he _deserved_ to be forgiven.

The Blaine standing in front of him had no protective walls around him. Blaine was stripped bare of all of his defenses, leaving his pain and self-contempt visible for all to see. He was in a war with himself. A part of him yearned for Kurt's forgiveness and support; that was the part they all saw, the part that Sam was familiar with. But another part of Blaine, a hidden part that he kept locked away from everyone, believed that Kurt was too good for him. Blaine may have shoved that part as deep as he could, but now it had broken free. Sam wasn't sure if it was because of the stress of the last few months or if it was because of something Kurt had said.

Sam accepted that nothing he said would ease Blaine's guilt. He had tried before and clearly, it didn't work. The only one who could heal this part of Blaine was Kurt himself. But Kurt wasn't here and the task of making Blaine see reason fell to Sam. But he needed details first to be able to help.

"Tell me what happened, word for word. Not your interpretation, not what you think Kurt meant. I want to know what he said exactly and I want to know everything" Sam demanded firmly.

Blaine glanced at him warily and Sam gestured for him to go ahead. Blaine told him everything, from the phone call at Sectionals through their brief talk in Christmas and Kurt's call after the break up with Adam, to their pseudo fight in the car and Kurt's words. Sam listened intently without interrupting once. Blaine deflated as soon as he was finished, leaning against the wall for support.

"Kurt's words can hold a million different meanings, Blaine" Sam started gently. "Did it occur to you that maybe he meant that you made him happy or at peace? Or maybe he was thanking you for letting him get close after you basically shut him out? Even if he meant it in the physical sense, isn't it very satisfying and fulfilling to share that kind of bond with someone you love?"

Blaine closed his eyes, obviously mulling over Sam's words and Sam moved closer to him. "He told you that he loves you, Blaine. Doesn't that count for something?"

A few tears escaped Blaine's closed lids before he opened his eyes. Sam was met with a pair of anguished hazel eyes awash in tears.

"I'm terrified, Sam" Blaine admitted softly. "He did say that he loves me but I'm scared that he isn't _in love_ with me anymore. I'm not the same guy anymore and I'm afraid that he'll leave when he figures that out. I can't go through this heartache again, I barely survived last time"

Sam swallowed his retort that Blaine didn't survive anything. It had become clear to him that Blaine had donned a mask for the past few months. He hid his pain from all of them and tried his best to be stronger, but he never really got over Kurt. He had matured considerably and made remarkable progress in opening up to people, but his heart never healed properly. He was still in pain, he just learned how to function with it.

"Kurt is the only one who can decide what it is that he's feeling, Blaine. And you haven't changed, you're still the same guy he fell in love with, just with a few more layers"

Blaine snorted at that. "Cheating doesn't add layers to a person. It just makes him a cheater"

"Will you do it again?" Sam asked and Blaine looked at him incredulously. "Exactly. You're not a cheater, Blaine. You cheated once and yes, it's a terrible thing to do. But it doesn't define who you are. That one mistake doesn't erase every good thing about you"

Blaine heaved a sigh and Sam moved in for the kill. "Don't let your guilt cost you Kurt, Blaine. You love him too much for that and he loves you back just as much, you know how I know that?"

Blaine raised a curious brow at him and Sam smiled. "Because the guy I've seen wrapped around you isn't the same guy who arrived yesterday from New York. He seems…lighter, happier. But now, he's worried sick about you while you are here, being judge, jury and executioner to yourself. In short, you're being an idiot, fact"

Sam clapped his hands together and Blaine choked out a laugh at the familiar move. Sam allowed a smile to tug at his lips and moved to clasp Blaine's shoulder.

"So you'll take to him?" Sam prodded

Blaine bit his lip before nodding. "I will, just not now. I'm not really ready to"

Sam nodded and Blaine gave him a watery smile. "Thanks, Sam. Really, you didn't have to do that but you still did. Just…thank you"

"What are friends for?" Sam shrugged. "You were there when I needed you with your little nifty video. I'm just returning the favor"

Blaine rolled his eyes at his best friend good naturally. He turned to examine himself in the mirror and groaned. "I look like hell"

Sam silently agreed. Blaine's eyes were blood shot, his curls were escaping from the gel, his lips were a little swollen and his shirt was creased beyond hope.

Blaine turned on the tap, splashing water on his face. He was trying to tame his curls when he noticed Sam behind him, leaning against the wall mutely. "You can go back to the reception now, Sam. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Sam regarded him skeptically and Blaine peered at him over his shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm not going to have a melt down after you go. I just need a minute to myself, okay?"

Sam nodded at him and pushed himself off the wall. He cast a final look at Blaine then made his way outside, only to be greeted with the sight of Kurt sitting on the floor, looking utterly defeated.

Kurt looked up at him and Sam just knew that he had heard him and Blaine. He stepped closer to Kurt, tugging him up and leading him away. The last thing he needed now was for Blaine to run into Kurt once he came out of the bathroom. They came across an empty corridor and both boys stopped.

"You heard everything" It was a statement more than a question and Kurt nodded.

"I came back to check on him. Blaine isn't exactly quiet when he is upset" Kurt took a deep breath then whispered. "I can't believe he thinks I can do that to him"

"He doesn't" Sam's answer was immediate. "Blaine does and says a lot of things he doesn't mean when he's upset. You of all people should know that"

Kurt closed his eyes and lowered his head. He knew that Sam was right but that didn't stop him from hurting like hell. How on earth did they reach this point? They were always in sync, each knowing where the other was coming from in a second. But now, they couldn't be in the same space without one of them hurting the other deeply. They needed Sam to point out things that they both already knew. They had gotten so consumed with their own feelings that they became oblivious to each other's pain. But no, this would not continue any longer. They would stop skirting around the problems in their relationship and they would figure things out.

Sam jumped when Kurt whirled around and walked away. He caught on quickly on where Kurt was going and ran after him, putting his arm out to stop him.

"Kurt, no, stop. You can't go back to him"

"I need to talk to him, Sam. This whole mess has dragged on long enough" Kurt was adamant and Sam swore.

"You heard him, Kurt. He is not ready to talk to you. Just give him some time to cool off" Sam argued back, praying that Kurt would listen.

"I don't have time," Kurt snapped. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning and I need to talk to him before I leave. This isn't exactly something we can do over the phone"

"Alright, alright" Sam raised his hands in a placating manner. "Maybe- maybe you can talk to him after the reception. Kurt, you're both too worked up right now. Any conversation you have now won't solve anything; it'll probably make things worse"

Kurt was breathing heavily and for a second, Sam feared that he would insist on going back to Blaine. But Kurt ran a hand over his face tiredly and sagged against the wall.

"You're right. We can't exactly discuss what went wrong in our relationship in a hotel's bathroom. This will have to wait"

Sam looked at him sympathetically. "Let's just go inside, Kurt. Blaine is going to be there soon"

Kurt nodded numbly and followed Sam. They made their way to the New Directions table and joined their friends. Kurt ignored Rachel's questions about his whereabouts and fixed his eyes on the room's entrance. He grew more worried as the minutes passed and started drumming his fingers on the table. Opposite of him, Sam was frowning too as he checked his watch. Their friends became aware of their continued staring after a while and started exchanging confused looks.

Blaine finally appeared after about ten minutes and Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. A murmur broke over the table when the New Directions noticed the state Blaine was in, but one glare from Sam shut everyone up. Kurt kept his eyes on Blaine, who slid silently in a chair between Sam and Tina. Tina reached over and entwined her arm with Blaine's while Sam scooted his chair closer surreptitiously . Kurt swallowed thickly, he was glad that Blaine had friends who cared about him and wanted to help, even if they didn't exactly know what was wrong in the first place like in Tina's case, but he still had to fight the urge to just reach across the table and gather Blaine in his arms.

A tense silence hung above the table. Blaine refused to look in Kurt's direction while Kurt's eyes were trained on him. The rest of their friends kept looking between them uncertainly. At one point, Tina and Brittany jumped up and along with Sam; they dragged Blaine to the dance floor. Kurt mused at the obvious comfortableness in the way the four interacted together. Although they started dancing with Blaine paired with Tina and Sam with Brittany, they changed partners several times during the song, Blaine even ending up dancing with Sam at one point while the girls twirled around them. They ended the song with a strange four-way hug and Kurt heard Rachel mutter "When did _that_ happen?"

Blaine smiled slightly at his three friends. He was pressed to Sam's side with Brittany opposite of him, squished against Sam's other side. The blond girl had one of her hands covering his own which rested on Sam's back. Tina completed their little circle, throwing her arms around both Blaine and Brittany. The song changed to a slow one and Blaine smiled apologetically at Tina who seemed to understand his reluctance to continue dancing. She offered him her hand and together, they returned to the table, leaving Brittany and Sam to dance.

Kurt watched them from the dance floor, where Mercedes had dragged him as soon as the slow dance began. He was noticing a change in their dynamic, similar to the one he witnessed firsthand with Sam and Blaine. It seemed like Blaine had developed quite the bond with Sam and Tina, and was well on his way to one with Brittany, if the silly faces the blond cheerleader kept making at him over Sam's shoulder were any indication.

Blaine checked his watch, wondering if it was alright for him to leave. He was really weary so he decided to just go, even if it was too early to. He leaned to tell Tina who signaled Sam before he could stop her. Sam and Brittany were there instantly and Blaine groaned.

"You are leaving?" Sam questioned and Blaine nodded. "Okay. I'll give you a ride. Tina, can I borrow your car keys?"

"No, Sam. You've already done enough. No need to come with me and I have my car anyway" Blaine protested.

"You're in no condition to drive. And no offense dude, but I'm not getting in your car anytime soon. Actually, I probably won't ride in it ever again."

Blaine gapped at Sam as Tina's mouth formed a perfect 'O'. He blushed violently when the Asian girl smirked at him knowingly. He was plotting ways to kill Sam who accepted the keys from Tina and gestured for Blaine to lead the way. Blaine said his goodbyes quickly to the New Directions and with a glare in Sam's direction, made his way out of the room, unaware of Kurt's eyes following him.

* * *

Blaine pushed the front door to his house open and turned to wave at Sam. He entered the silent house slowly, feeling more exhausted with every step he took. His parents were spending the night in Columbus and for some reason, the empty house unsettled him. He collapsed on the couch and seriously considered just sleeping there, but he felt filthy. He supposed that was what happened when you spend an entire day in the same clothes, dance around with friends and have sex without properly cleaning up. He heaved himself off the couch and stumbled to his room. A quick shower was definitely in order.

He went into his bathroom, taking off his clothes as he went. He paused in front of the mirror when his eyes fell on the dark bruise on his collar bone. He traced it with his fingers slowly and shivered, remembering how Kurt had marked him. He could feel the ghost of Kurt's touch on his skin and it filled him with longing, but for the first time in months, Blaine allowed that longing to fill him up, instead of pushing it down.

Blaine stepped under the hot spray and let his mind wander. He might still have a shot with Kurt after all. Being with Kurt again today touched a part of Blaine that he had kept buried for months. It was like he could breathe again, now that he had reunited with his soul mate. He turned off the water and toweled quickly then pulled on some sweatpants. He hesitated for a second before taking out one of shirts Kurt had left at his house before leaving for New York, and putting it on. Kurt's smell washed over him, calming him down and he fell onto his bed, already half asleep.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, the door bell echoed through the house. He contemplated ignoring it but it kept ringing and Blaine groaned. It was probably Sam. His best friend knew that his parents were out of town and Blaine didn't put it past the blond to return to keep him company. The bell rang again and Blaine dragged himself out of the bed groggily. He opened the front door, ready to grumble at Sam then froze when he came face to face with the person standing in his doorway.

Kurt smiled at him hesitantly, sucking in a sharp breath when he noticed the way Blaine was dressed. Blaine had on a pair of sweatpants rolled up to the middle of his calf and a shirt Kurt was pretty sure was his own. His curls were damp and sticking in all directions. His whole appearance just made him look so young and vulnerable.

Kurt cleared his throat and asked. "Can I come in?"

Blaine blinked at Kurt before stepping aside, mutely allowing him entry. Kurt brushed against him accidentally and Blaine shivered. He led Kurt to the living room and stood silently as Kurt's eyes wandered around in confusion.

"Your parents?" Kurt questioned and Blaine choked out. "Columbus"

Kurt nodded absently and settled himself on the couch. He looked at Blaine expectedly and Blaine started to fidget.

"I'll bring you something to drink" Blaine was already moving but Kurt's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Blaine, wait" Kurt called and Blaine froze immediately. "I don't want anything. I came here to talk to you"

Blaine turned around slowly and Kurt patted the couch in invitation. Blaine crossed the room and sank on the couch in resignation. Kurt tucked his leg beneath him and shifted so he could face Blaine.

"I know today wasn't exactly easy and that you probably don't want to talk right now" Kurt started. "But I'm leaving tomorrow and I needed to talk to you before I leave"

Blaine was staring at him unblinkingly and Kurt took this as an invitation to continue. "We have a conversation that is long overdue. But before we talk about anything, I just wanted you to know that I don't regret what happened today. It wasn't a mistake. I have felt like there was something missing in me for ages, and today was the first time I felt complete in a long time, and that only happened when I was with you"

Blaine's eyes were filling with tears rapidly and Kurt took a calming breath. "That night in Battery Park,.." Kurt's voice broke and he swallowed thickly, willing himself to be strong. "You said that your hookup didn't mean anything. If it didn't, then why did you do it in the first place? Help me understand, Blaine, because I have been wracking my brain for months and I still don't get it. Just tell me the truth, please"

Blaine had become very interested in his hands by this point. His hands were trembling visibly and Kurt reached out to still them. Blaine stared at their joined hands in wonder. Kurt was giving him a chance to explain himself. He wasn't judging him or anything, he honestly just wanted to understand. He had already indicated that he wanted Blaine back but they needed to move on from what happened.

"There are a lot of things that I need to tell you" Blaine's voice sounded foreign to his own ears but he had Kurt's attention and that was enough. "Just please understand that I'm not trying to blame this on you. I'm simply trying to explain"

Kurt knitted his brow in confusion but nodded in agreement. Blaine took a deep breath and started.

"When I told you to go to New York, I meant it. You belonged there and I was so proud of you. I knew that it was going to be hard but it was worth it. Things were okay for a while. I missed you like crazy but I kept myself busy. I joined several clubs at school and I was fine. Our phone calls and Skype dates were enough for me, just hearing your voice and knowing you were happy was enough"

Blaine paused to catch his breath and Kurt smiled at him encouragingly. He shut his eyes tightly, knowing that Kurt's smile would vanish in a few minutes.

"Then you started to pull away" Blaine forced himself to focus on Kurt who frowned at him. "Our conversations revolved solely around New York, and I got it. It was new and exciting but it felt like you didn't care about what was going on with me anymore"

"That is not true" Kurt protested instantly. "I've always cared about you and about what was happening in your life"

"No, Kurt" Blaine disagreed and held up a hand to cut off Kurt's response. "You stopped caring, even if you didn't mean to. I'm not saying that you stopped caring about me altogether, but you hardly asked about my life anymore. I was the one who volunteered the information. God, we even talked about Rachel's escapades in NYADA more than we talked about _us_"

Kurt was staring openly at Blaine now. That wasn't true, was it? He had asked after Blaine. He talked to him and inquired about his life.

Except that he hadn't. He couldn't for the life of him recall one time that he had started a conversation about Blaine's life. Other that the usual _How are you? How is school?, _his mind couldn't supply him with any other meaningful conversations that Blaine hadn't started himself. Kurt remembered Blaine telling him about running for Senior Class President with Sam as his running mate. He also remembered how he completely forgot about it till Blaine brought it up again. His heart clenched painfully as he recalled how he brushed it off almost immediately and turned the conversation back to the music video he had made for Isabelle.

Blaine was regarding Kurt sadly, hating that he was causing him pain, but Kurt had asked for the truth and Blaine was going to give it to him.

"I was so lonely, Kurt. The friends I had at Mckinley graduated along with you. Yeah, I still had Sam, Tina, Brittany and Artie, but at the time, I wasn't close to any of them. And I started feeling like you stopped caring about me in a way. I called you four times after I won the election, but you never answered and you never called me back. I had to leave you a voice mail to tell you about my win. I get that a high school election isn't exactly important, but it was important to me"

Kurt shook his head, denying Blaine's words. "No, Blaine, no. It _is_ important, of course it is. Anything that has something to do with you is important"

Blaine lost control on his emotions at Kurt's reassurance. Tears rolled freely down his face as he clutched at Kurt's hand.

"Things only got worse after that" He choked out. "When you called me the day you took over Isabelle's phones, I tried to tell you" Kurt took a shuddering breath, remembering the call as Blaine continued. "I was at the end of my rope, Kurt and you- you responded by saying that some woman was on the phone and that she always had the best gossip. Not only that, but you- you hung up on me as I was saying I love you"

Blaine was sobbing openly now and Kurt felt his body go cold. He didn't realize what he had been doing to Blaine; he had no idea that he had made his boyfriend feel like that. He had actually brushed Blaine's cry of help aside like it was nothing. Tears started to fall as he regarded the broken boy in front of him. Blaine wrapped his arms around his torso and was curling up on himself and Kurt wanted nothing than to sooth him.

"Blaine…"

"Don't, Kurt" Tear filled hazel eyes met his own. "I-I have to say this. Just let me finish, please" Blaine pleaded.

Kurt settled back against the couch with a heavy heart, gesturing at the younger boy to continue. Something in Blaine's expression changed, it looked almost as if he was bracing himself for something.

"You don't know him" Blaine stated simply and Kurt felt the pit of his stomach fall when he realized what Blaine was talking about. "He's just a guy that friended me on Facebook. I've tried calling you several times this day, but you never answered. And I was consumed with the feeling that I didn't matter to you anymore. I felt like you were building a life that I wasn't a part of, like you've outgrown your small town boyfriend."

Kurt was shaking his head vehemently, denying Blaine's words and Blaine let out a near hysterical laugh. "Yeah, well, I didn't have anyone to rebuke that thought. Eli messaged me that day, asking if I wanted to come over. I don't honestly know what came over me that day. I remember thinking that you were moving on without me and I remember feeling so lonely. So I went"

Kurt gripped the couch's cushion so hard. He felt like he was going to be sick. Every word Blaine uttered was cutting through him and he felt dizzy.

Blaine pushed himself as far away from Kurt as he could. Kurt looked positively sick and it was physically painful for Blaine to see, knowing that he had caused that pain. But he had to push through, he had to finish.

"The worst part is.." Kurt focused on Blaine when the younger boy started speaking again. "Right after, all the doubts I had about us evaporated. I just knew that we were meant to be, except that I had ruined that. I felt dirty and tainted and so very worthless. The first thing I did when I got home was book a flight. I knew I needed to see you, needed to confess and to tell you how sorry I am, even if you didn't accept it."

Kurt had one hand clasped over his mouth in an attempt to muffle his sobs. Blaine, on the other hand, was sobbing openly with his head buried in his hands. Kurt took several deep breaths and scooted closer to Blaine. He rubbed his hand up and down the senior's back soothingly and felt Blaine shudder beneath his fingers. He waited patiently for Blaine to calm down a little before speaking.

"I'm sorry" Kurt whispered and Blaine snapped his head to look at him. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like that. I'm sorry that I was blind to your struggles and that I let it come to this. I'm truly sorry, Blaine"

"Stop, please, stop" Blaine's face was contorted in anguish. "Stop trying to make this okay, nothing can make this okay"

"I'm not but I have to accept my part in this, Blaine" Kurt's tone was firm. "I share part of the blame. I made you feel like this and I need to apologize"

"It doesn't matter" Blaine shouted at him. "I was the one who took this final step; I was the one who sought comfort from someone else. I was with another guy because I was _weak_"

"I slept with Adam" The words tumbled out of Kurt's mouth before he could stop them and he covered his mouth with his hand in horror. This wasn't the way he meant to tell Blaine about Adam but the younger boy wasn't seeing reason and Kurt just wanted to knock some sense into him.

Blaine recoiled as if burned. He jumped from the couch, backing away from Kurt in disbelief. Kurt watched helplessly as Blaine paced in agitation. He called the younger boy's name and Blaine stilled before whirling around to face him.

"Why are you telling me this, Kurt?" Blaine didn't care that his voice broke or that he was visibly trembling. His emotions felt unbelievably raw and he couldn't even have the energy to pull himself together.

"Because you needed to know" Kurt answered. "Because we need to get everything in the open if we want to work. I know what it's like to do something that you desperately want to take back"

"It's not the same" Blaine breathed. "You didn't do anything wrong. You had every right to be with Adam. Don't act like the two situations are similar"

"I'm not trying to downplay what you did, Blaine. You cheated, period." Blaine flinched violently and Kurt had to force himself to continue. "What I'm trying to say is that I understand what it is like to make a mistake in a moment of weakness. Not to mention that I share the responsibility of your mistake too"

"I broke us, Kurt" Blaine exclaimed. "I was needy and stupid. I doubted myself, doubted us."

"And I let you" Kurt countered. "You weren't needy, Blaine. I just took you for granted; I thought that you'll always be there no matter what. I became so involved in my life that I ignored the most important person in it"

"I gave up on us. I stopped fighting"

"There were two people in this relationship, Blaine. Both of us should have fought harder" Kurt fired back.

Blaine groaned in frustration and leaned back against the wall. He hated that Kurt thought he was to blame in this whole mess. Even if Kurt did ignore him, Blaine had been the one who crossed the line and nothing would justify his actions. The whole thing with Adam bugged him too. He knew he had no right to blame Kurt, he no longer held a claim to the older boy after all, but it still killed him.

"It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, Kurt." Blaine said tiredly. "Nothing will ever excuse my actions"

Kurt moved closer to Blaine and rested a hand on his shoulder, "It's not an excuse, Blaine. I won't pretend that it wasn't a terrible thing or that it didn't break my heart." He framed Blaine's face with his hands gently and continued. "But I wasn't some innocent bystander in this whole mess, Blaine. I made my own share of mistakes"

"Nothing can compare to what I did" Blaine protested. "I betrayed you in the worst way possible. What does that make me?"

"Human" Kurt offered. "Yes, you made a terrible mistake but that doesn't make you a monster, it just makes you human and humans make mistakes."

Blaine's eyes darted around as if searching for answers in the air and Kurt implored him to let go of this burden. "Let it go, Blaine. You've been trying to make up for what you have done for months now. It's time for you to forgive yourself, just like I forgave you"

Blaine's eyes widened at Kurt's words for a second before he crumpled. Kurt barely had time to catch him before his knees buckled. It seemed like the weight of everything that had happened had slammed into him at once and Kurt's forgiveness was the final blow to his frail composure. Kurt lowered them both to the ground and held Blaine tightly as harsh sobs tore themselves from the senior's throat. Blaine had Kurt's shirt fisted in his hands and Kurt's eyes watered at his obvious anguish. Blaine was trembling violently with the force of his sobs and Kurt wondered if the younger boy had ever truly grieved their break up.

Blaine was mumbling something incoherently and Kurt leaned closer to try and decipher it. His hold on his emotions broke as the broken half promises of faithfulness that were tumbling out of Blaine's mouth reached his ears. He rocked the smaller boy slowly, hushing him gently and smoothing down his hair. Blaine was clinging to him and Kurt instinctively started murmuring comforting words in his ears.

Blaine's tears subsided after a while and he sagged against Kurt. He was breathing heavily and Kurt shifted him so he could look at him. Something was still bothering Blaine and Kurt nudged him gently to speak.

"Where does that leave us?" Blaine questioned shyly and Kurt smiled at him.

"I think I made it perfectly clear that I want you back, didn't I?" Kurt teased gently.

"I know. It's just…" Blaine trailed off and Kurt rubbed his arm encouragingly. "When you came to watch Grease, you said that you didn't trust me anymore."

Blaine's tone was somber and Kurt fell silent, collecting his thoughts. He tugged at Blaine's arm and the senior moved so that he could face him.

"I'm not going to lie to you. It will take us a while to get back to how we were before. You've broken my trust, Blaine"

The other boy lowered his head shamefully but Kurt would have none of it. He grasped Blaine's chin firmly and forced the senior to meet his eyes. "However, I have faith in you. I know that you will earn my trust back. We'll take things slow for now. We'll work on our relationship and mend our broken bond. How does that sound?"

"Perfect" Blaine breathed and Kurt smiled at him brightly. The younger boy moved slightly closer to him then paused, looking at Kurt uncertainly. Kurt rolled his eyes at the hesitant boy and closed the few inches between them, pressing his lips firmly against Blaine's. He felt Blaine smile against his lips and raised his hand, cradling Blaine's face. The kiss was sweet and gentle, speaking of forgiveness and love. Kurt rubbed his nose against Blaine's in an Eskimo kiss as he pulled back and Blaine giggled at him.

Kurt stood up, offering his hand to Blaine. "Come on, let's go to bed. You look like you could sleep for a thousand years"

Blaine took his hand, lacing their fingers together automatically. Kurt caressed his boyfriend's knuckles tenderly as they ascended the stairs to Blaine's room. Kurt smiled lovingly as he caught sight of the small shrine that Blaine had made of their pictures. Blaine's cheeks tainted pink and he shrugged at Kurt's amused look, simply bringing up their joined hands to brush a kiss to the back of Kurt's hand. They lay on their sides on the bed, facing each other with their hands clasped between them. Neither said anything, they just gazed at each other in silence, soaking in the peace they felt in each other's company.

Blaine started to drift off and Kurt pulled him closer, arranging the younger boy till his head was pillowed on Kurt's chest. He felt Blaine relax against him and pressed a kiss to his hair. His eyes darted around Blaine's room, taking in the slight changes that Blaine made since Kurt left. His eyes rested on the several pictures Blaine had pinned on his wall, particularly on a photo of Sam and Blaine. He nudged Blaine slowly, checking if he was still awake and Blaine made a strange squeaky noise that almost made Kurt dissolve into giggles.

"Blaine" Kurt whispered gently and Blaine hummed in response. "Remind me tomorrow to send Sam a fruit basket or something, okay?"

Blaine stirred and raised his head to peer at Kurt blearily. "What?"

"We should get Sam something nice" Kurt explained. "We owe him a huge thank you after all. I mean today would have turned into a hot train wreck if it wasn't for him. He was the only one who kept his composure during it all"

Blaine pushed back from Kurt slightly, squinting at him suspiciously for a minute before it hit him. "You heard us"

It was a statement, not a question. Blaine knew that Sam would never tell Kurt about their conversation and yet, Kurt seemed to know exactly how much Sam had helped. The only logical explanation was that Kurt had heard them.

Kurt smiled at him sheepishly. "Yeah. I came back to check on you and I heard you guys talking" A pause then. "Are you upset?"

Blaine shrugged. "Not really. I was doing a spectacular job in freaking out but I don't mind you knowing"

He reached out, stroking Kurt's chest and continued. "I just want you to know that I don't think that you're capable of that. I was upset and confused and took what you said the wrong way"

"It's okay" Kurt reassured him. "I probably should have worded it better anyway. Sorry about that by the way. That was just a big misunderstanding"

Blaine nodded and Kurt smiled at him teasingly. "Good. Glad this is out of the way. You might want to apologized to Sam though, you said some very…undapper things to him"

Blaine groaned and Kurt chuckled at him. "I'm sure Sam will be cool with it. He'll probably just hold it over your head for years to come."

Blaine grumbled against Kurt's chest, where he had buried his head and Kurt had to fight the laughter that bubbled inside of him. He massaged the back of Blaine's neck and the younger boy sighed happily. They fell silent and Blaine was dozing off again when Kurt spoke.

"You and Sam seem close" Kurt mused. "How did that happen?"

If his head wasn't buried in Kurt's chest, Blaine would have facepalmed. He raised his head, looking deep into the beautiful glasz eyes that were gazing at him.

"Kurt, sweetheart" Blaine began patiently. "I would love to fill you in about everything that has happened in my life later. But I'm so not discussing Sam with you now"

"But…" Kurt tried to protest but Blaine cut him off.

"But nothing. Now shut up and go to sleep"

"Bossy" Kurt muttered under his breath and Blaine swatted at him. "Fine, fine. I'll sleep. No need to channel Santana and go all Lima Heights on me here. I get it, you want to sleep"

Blaine glowered at him and Kurt smirked, leaning in and pressing a gentle peck to his lips. "I love you. _Now_ you can go to sleep"

Blaine's eyes sparkled and a big toothy smile lit up his face.

"I love you too"

* * *

_Only one more chapter to go, folks. Reviews make my day :)_


	6. I'm complete

_**A\N: **Hey, guys. So this is the last chapter, I wanted to say thank you for all of you who stuck with me this far. I had so much fun writing this story and I hope you enjoyed reading it as well. This chapter contains sexual situations so be warned._

_To the anon who said that Klainers refuse to let Kurt move on with his life after being hurt so badly. I guess it does sound pretty bad when you put it that way. But the thing is we want Kurt to forgive Blaine because we truly believe that Blaine loves him with everything he is. It doesn't mean that Kurt "couldn't hope to do or deserve any better", Kurt deserves everything the world has to offer him, including a person who loves him unconditionally and that's Blaine in our opinion. Blaine cheated and there is no denying how wrong and hurtful that was, but he regrets it. I know that doesn't just make it okay but you have to take into account everything we know about Blaine and everything he has done for Kurt, you'll find that cheating isn't really a personality trait of Blaine's, it isn't who he is. Kurt is the love of Blaine's life and we don't want one lapse of judgement destroy a relationship that has that much love in it. Blaine is remorseful and he would do anything in his power to make Kurt forgive him. And Kurt won't be "crawling back" to Blaine, Kurt is one with all the power in this situation. He could make or break them, it's his decision whether to take Blaine back or not._

* * *

**"Love is either like misty rains, coming softly but flooding the river, or like thunderstorms, soaking you through, and striking you with the pain of lighting"**

**Taylor Bennet**

* * *

Kurt hummed under his breath as he opened the door to his loft. He was happy and excited. Blaine was coming today and Kurt couldn't wait. He practically skipped to his room, ignoring Santana who was having the time of her life, teasing him to death about Blaine's arrival. The Latina' favorite pastime now seemed to be throwing witty remarks at Kurt, mostly revolving around Blaine. He rolled his eyes at her when she made a very brash comment about them. He was severely tempted to just stick his tongue out at her, but he didn't think it would be very mature of him. He tuned her out as he collected the outfit he had decided to wear and headed to the shower. He put on his best bitch glare when Santana got in his way, but she just laughed at him, raising her hands in surrender.

"Easy, lady lips," Kurt scrunched his nose in distaste at the nickname, but Santana ignored him. "I just wanted to say that I'm heading out. Berry and her boy toy are going to be late, having dinner or something, I wasn't really listening. So you'll have the apartment all to yourself. Enjoy your time with lover boy"

Kurt smiled in gratitude and he mumbled a heartfelt "thank you" that Santana brushed off. She picked up her jacket and with a final "Don't do anything I wouldn't do", she was gone.

Kurt shook his head in exasperation. For all of her tough exterior and Lima Heights Adjacent attitude, Santana was actually a real softie when it came to him and Blaine. Mind you, her mind was always in the gutter but Kurt appreciated her making herself scarce to give him some alone time with Blaine. He suspected that she might have pressured Rachel and Brody to get them out of the apartment too, considering that Rachel was less than thrilled about his reconciliation with Blaine, and Kurt really couldn't see her going out of her way to grant him some privacy with his boyfriend.

Kurt showered quickly then bustled around the apartment straightening things out and preparing some food. Three weeks had passed since the wedding and he and Blaine were doing just fine. They didn't get to spend much time together, with Kurt having to go back to New York, but they talked on the phone and Skyped whenever they could. All of the long months of little to no contact with Blaine had caught up with Kurt, and he found himself missing the younger boy like crazy. So when Blaine had asked shyly if he could visit Kurt on the weekend, Kurt agreed readily. He knew that the long distance wouldn't be easy on their newly reaffirmed bond and he would take any opportunity he could to see Blaine face to face.

Both boys were working on their relationship. Kurt did his best not to let his work swallow him and made sure to ask after Blaine and to not dominate their conversations. Blaine, for his part, took it in his stride when Kurt was forced to cancel their phone dates. He was now safe in the knowledge that he would always be a part of Kurt's life and that Kurt loved him. He was also busier now, preparing his NYADA piece and getting ready for Regionals then Nationals with the New Directions. They had resorted to exchanging texts whenever one of them didn't have the time for a lengthily phone call. It wasn't the most ideal situation but it worked for them. Blaine's random texts throughout the day never failed to put a smile on Kurt's face and he always made sure to return the favor.

Kurt was content with where their relationship was now. He could hardly wait to see Blaine again. He had offered to pick Blaine up from the airport, but knowing his busy schedule, the younger boy refused. He checked his watch, knowing that Blaine would be arriving any minute now. His phone buzzed with an incoming text and he snatched it up once he saw that the text was from Blaine.

_Meet me on the roof of your building. Love you xoxo_

Kurt blinked in confusion. What was Blaine doing on his roof? And why did he want Kurt to meet him up there? He pocketed his phone and made his way out of the apartment. He climbed the stair to the roof slowly, his mind racing with a million different thoughts. Light was escaping from beyond the closed door that led to the roof. Kurt pushed the door open cautiously and gasped at the sight that greeted him.

There were paper lanterns floating everywhere. Fairy lights were shining a soft glow on a canopy made out of the softest fabric Kurt had ever seen. Rose petals littered the ground, leading to a love seat that held a bouquet of red and yellow roses. The whole thing looked like something out of a movie.

Kurt moved dazedly to the love seat, reaching out a hand to stroke the flowers. A noise came from behind him and he turned around, finally laying eyes on Blaine who set a boom box on the ground and smiled at Kurt. Kurt cocked his head to the side, eyeing the boom box as Blaine pressed a key on it. Soft music started playing and Kurt's eyes brimmed with tears when he recognized the familiar tune. His eyes softened as he locked eyes with Blaine. Blaine's eyes sparkled as he started to sing.

_Never knew I could feel like this_

_Like I've never seen the sky before_

_Want to vanish inside your kiss_

_Every day I love you more and more_

_Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing_

_Telling me to give you everything_

_Seasons may change, winter to spring_

Blaine moved towards Kurt, taking his hand and resting it on his own chest, right above his heart. Kurt could feel Blaine's heart hammering underneath his finger tips and his own heart swelled with love for his incredible boyfriend whose voice got choked as he continued to sing.

_But I love you_

_Until the end of time_

_Come what may, come what may_

_I will love you, until my dying day_

Kurt sniffled, trying to rein in his emotions. He really didn't want to counter Blaine's surprise by turning into a teary train wreck. He rested a hand on Blaine's cheek and gazed deeply in his eyes as he picked the next part of the song.

_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_

_Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace_

_Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste_

_It all revolves around you_

Blaine tugged at Kurt's hands, pulling him into the middle of the roof. They twirled each other, both giddy with love and excitement as their voices blended together for the last part of the song.

_And there's no mountain too high_

_No river too wide_

_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side_

_Storm clouds may gather, stars may collide_

Their fingers entwined on their own accord and Blaine reached to wipe a tear that trickled down from Kurt's eye.

_But I love you (I love you)_

_Until the end of time_

_Come what may, come what may_

_I will love you, until my dying day_

Both boys were out of breath by the time they finished. Kurt threw his arms around Blaine's neck, kissing him with everything he got. Blaine's arms slipped around Kurt's waist and he pulled him flush against his own body as he deepened the kiss. They broke the kiss when air became a problem but kept their foreheads pressed together.

Kurt was panting harshly and Blaine massaged the back of his neck soothingly. Kurt buried his head in Blaine's shoulder for a minute before pressing a kiss against it. "That was amazing. _You_ are amazing"

He pulled back, meeting Blaine's eyes with a bright smile. Blaine gave him a toothy grin in response and Kurt pulled back, turning to gaze around him in amazement. Blaine moved behind him to pick up the bouquet and offer it to Kurt who blushed as he accepted it. He breathed in the scent of the flowers serenely then looked at Blaine "Those are beautiful. Thank you"

Blaine shrugged and leant in to kiss his cheek. "It was nothing."

"Are you kidding me?" Kurt exclaimed incredulously. "This is definitely _not_ nothing. You did all that," He gestured around him and Blaine ducked his head bashfully. "You serenaded me with one of the most romantic songs, one of my favorites might I add, and you brought me flowers. This is perfect, Blaine"

Blaine stepped closer to him, putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders. "I just wanted to say thank you for taking me back" He blinked back his tears and moved his hand to Kurt's face, brushing his fingers over his jaw tenderly. "You are my life, Kurt, and I swear to you I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you"

Kurt put the flowers down and hugged Blaine tightly. The senior clung to him and Kurt kissed his temple. "It's over now" He whispered. "It's behind us."

Blaine nodded against his shoulder and Kurt pulled back to look at him. "And while I don't need a thank you present, I certainly love it"

"I knew you would" Blaine answered cheekily and Kurt huffed out a laugh. "I know my hopeless romantic of a boyfriend very well, thank you very much"

Kurt swatted at him and Blaine took a step back, raising his hands in surrender. Kurt sat down, holding his hand out to Blaine in invitation. Blaine grinned as he took Kurt's hand and settled beside him. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and sighed happily. His eyes swept over the roof again, noticing every little detail. Blaine had clearly put in a lot of thought and work into it.

"How on earth did you have the time to pull this off? You arrived what, an hour ago?" Kurt asked curiously

"Actually, I arrived three hours ago" Blaine admitted guiltily. "This is one of the reasons I refused to let you pick me up. I booked an earlier flight and I didn't want you to know about my surprise"

Blaine was wary of Kurt's reaction. While he didn't exactly lie to Kurt, he hid something from him. And considering that they were having trust issues, he was afraid that Kurt would be upset. One look at Kurt's face though eased his mind; Kurt was looking at him in adoration with a small smile playing on his lips.

"You worry too much" Kurt murmured, reaching out to rub at the crease between Blaine's brows. "It's okay. It's not something _bad_. You wanted to surprise me which I appreciate very, very much"

Kurt punctuated his word with small kisses and Blaine allowed his body to relax. A gust of wind picked up around them and Blaine felt Kurt shiver against him. "Come on, let's go downstairs"

"But it's so nice up here. The place looks beautiful" Kurt protested and Blaine chuckled at him.

"I would rather my surprise doesn't end up with you catching a cold or worse." Blaine said.

Kurt made a face at him before picking up his flowers and standing up. Blaine clasped his hand as they descended the stairs. Kurt led Blaine into the loft then busied himself with putting the flowers in a vase and reheating their food. Blaine offered to help but Kurt shooed him away, telling him to go freshen up or something. Blaine emerged just as Kurt finished setting the table, and they sat down to eat in comfortable silence. Blaine insisted on doing the dishes afterwards so Kurt decided to put on some music.

Blaine grinned as the soft melody of Faithfully filled the loft. He was drying the last plate when he heard Kurt clear his throat behind him.

"Excuse me" Blaine turned around to find Kurt holding out his hand for him. "May I have this dance?"

Blaine chuckled and took Kurt's hand, tugging the older boy into his arms. Kurt hugged Blaine to him, resting his head on his shoulder as Blaine's hands rested on the middle of Kurt's back. They swayed together silently for a while before Blaine sighed into Kurt's neck. "I missed you so much"

Kurt hummed and tucked his head into Blaine's neck as the senior continued. "I was afraid that I'll never have you in my arms again and now that I do, being apart from you feels like torture"

He felt Kurt shaking into his arms and pulled away worriedly, only to be met with Kurt grinning widely at him. The older boy raised a hand, pointing vaguely behind him and Blaine knitted his brows in confusion till he noticed which part of the song he had chosen to speak during.

_And being apart ain't easy on this love affair_

_Two strangers learn to find love again_

_I get the joy of rediscovering you_

Blaine shook his head amusedly at Kurt. "You're ridiculous"

Kurt shrugged before he covered Blaine's lips with his. He smiled against Blaine's mouth and whispered. "You love me anyway"

Blaine made a displeased noise at Kurt's withdrawal but it was droned by Kurt connecting their mouths again. Blaine licked his lips once Kurt broke their kiss and Kurt's eyes were drawn instantly to his kiss swollen lips. Blaine leant in again till he was inches away from Kurt's face before whispering. "I love this song"

Kurt's eyes flickered to his and he blinked in surprise. Laughter bubbled out of Blaine's throat as Kurt grumbled "Tease" and spun on his heel to walk away, sulking. Blaine followed after him quickly, slipping his arms around Kurt's waist from behind to stop him and nuzzling his neck. "Sorry, sorry, couldn't resist"

Kurt turned his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at Blaine who just gazed at him lovingly. He turned in Blaine's arms and the younger boy kissed his nose tenderly.

"Fine, you're forgiven" Kurt conceded, defenseless against the adorable puppy that was his boyfriend.

Blaine pecked his cheek and Kurt sighed. "You should appreciate the agony I've put myself through by playing this song anyway. If you only knew"

Blaine raised a curious brow at him and Kurt huffed. "Mr. Shue has a sort of Journey addiction. He had us singing a Journey Medley at our first Regionals which we promptly _lost_, and he kept searching for songs we haven't covered yet. It was terrifying"

Blaine was trying not to laugh as Kurt continued. "So if Mr. Shue starts talking about Journey again, run for the hills. I'm sure Artie and Tina will be right there with you"

"Duly noted" Blaine commented, eyes sparkling with mirth. Both boys stared at each other for s second before collapsing in giggles. It really wasn't that funny but it was like they were drunk on each other's presence.

Blaine reached out to brush a lock of hair out of Kurt's face and their eyes met. Something passed between them and they gravitated towards one another slowly, lips meeting again in a gentle caress. Kurt licked at Blaine's lips and Blaine parted them, allowing Kurt to slip his tongue inside his mouth. A shot of electricity rocked Blaine's body and he clutched at Kurt, pressing their bodies together. Their hands roamed over one another's bodies and Kurt broke their kiss, panting "Bedroom, now" against Blaine's mouth before seizing it again in a hungry kiss.

They stumbled to Kurt's bedroom blindly. Blaine tugged impatiently on Kurt's shirt, managing somehow to take it off by the time they made it into the room. Kurt paused momentarily, closing the blinds separating his room from the rest of the loft. Blaine refused to let him go, hugging him from behind and running his hands over his chest and stomach. He could feel Kurt's muscles flexing under his hands and he spun his boyfriend around, attaching his lips to his neck and sucking. Kurt keened loudly and backed out until his knees hit the bed. He fell backwards on it, bringing Blaine with him and they both moaned as they rubbed against each other.

Kurt pulled at Blaine's shirt but his position beneath Blaine didn't allow him to do much. "Too much clothes" He whined and Blaine pressed a sloppy kiss against his jaw.

Blaine rolled off Kurt, ignoring the noise he made in protest, and pulled Kurt till he was resting against the pillows. He straddled him and grinded his hip down on Kurt's, causing Kurt to fist the bed sheets under him while he took off his shirt. He ran his hands over the porcelain skin of Kurt's stomach before ghosting a finger over one of his nipples. Kurt shuddered underneath him and Blaine wasted no time in taking the hardened nub into his mouth and sucking, effectively making Kurt fall apart.

"B-Blaine. God, you- you are…._yes_" Kurt babbled, ending his sentence with a shout when Blaine grazed his teeth against his sensitive flesh before turning his attention to his other nipple.

Blaine smiled against Kurt's skin, loving how he was the one extracting those delicious sounds from Kurt's throat. He climbed Kurt's body to kiss him, whispering. "I love you" into his ear before licking the outer shell sensationally.

Kurt buried his fingers in Blaine's curls and tugged. He was falling apart and he loved every second of it. Blaine was worshipping his torso with his hands and mouth, leaving Kurt a trembling, babbling mess. But he wanted more, more of Blaine's touches and kisses, more of _Blaine. _His erection was pressing painfully against his jeans and he couldn't take it anymore. Except that he doubted he would be able to articulate anything when Blaine was nibbling at his skin that way.

"Blaine" Kurt's voice was broken as he willed the younger boy to do something. "Blaine, _please_"

"Shh, it's okay sweetheart" Blaine murmured soothingly. "I know, I know. I've got you. God, you're so beautiful"

Blaine slipped his hand inside Kurt's pants and Kurt trembled with pleasure when Blaine's warm hand closed around him. Blaine stroked him a couple of times before Kurt laid a trembling hand on his arm.

"Stop" Kurt whispered and Blaine stilled instantly. "I-I'm not….not going to last if you continue"

"Okay" Blaine pulled his hand away, before raising himself to his knees beside Kurt to help the older boy with the rest of his clothes. Kurt hissed when the rough material brushed against his erection and Blaine pressed a quick kiss to his chest. Blaine took a shuddering breath as his eyes swept over Kurt's naked form. He stripped out of his own clothes quickly, smiling at Kurt who was watching him with glazed eyes.

Kurt shuffled to the side of the bed, opening his nightstand and picking up lube and a condom. He handed them to Blaine before relaxing back against the pillows with a sigh. Blaine stared at him, dumbfounded at the absolute trust in Kurt's eyes. He blinked away the tears that prickled his eyes and surged forward, connecting their lips for a deep kiss, whispering. "I love you" against Kurt's lips before reaching for the lube.

Kurt's legs parted automatically and he bent his knees, placing his feet on the bed and leaving himself open for his lover. Blaine warmed the lube between his fingers and settled between Kurt's legs. He circled Kurt's entrance slowly before easing a finger inside. He kept his eyes on Kurt's face, searching for any indication of discomfort but the only emotion apparent on his boyfriend's face was pleasure. Blaine kissed Kurt's bended knee as he worked him open tenderly, pausing every once in a while to give him time to adjust before adding another finger.

"_Blaine_" Kurt shrieked suddenly and Blaine chuckled in triumph. He had clearly found Kurt's prostate. He brushed a finger against the bundle of nerves again, reveling in the way Kurt's body jerked in pleasure. He had three fingers inside Kurt now and he scissored them one final time, making sure that Kurt was properly stretched before extracting his fingers.

Kurt whimpered at the loss and Blaine shushed him gently as he put on the condom and lubed himself up. Kurt was grapping at him and Blaine caught his hand, threading their fingers together. He draped himself over Kurt's body, kissing the hollow of his throat.

"Look at me, love" Blaine murmured as he positioned himself at Kurt's entrance. He waited till Kurt's eyes focused on his and whispered. "I love you so much" as he began to push in.

Kurt groaned as his muscles gave away to Blaine's intrusion. Blaine stroked his chest soothingly, slowly working him through the initial burn. He stilled once he was fully sheathed inside Kurt, leaning his forehead against his boyfriend's as he waited for him to adjust.

Kurt's muscles relaxed after a few minutes and he squeezed Blaine's shoulder. "You can move, I'm okay"

Blaine nodded, trying to catch his breath. Kurt was so tight around him and it took every ounce of his willpower not to lose it right away. Kurt's tight heat gripped him with a vice-like grip and Blaine didn't want this to end before it began. He took several deep breaths, trying to cool off a little but Kurt had other ideas. The pale boy had clearly grown impatient when Blaine didn't move immediately and decided to take things into his own hands. He tightened his walls around Blaine and snapped his hips upwards, letting out a muffled cry as his movement caused Blaine to sink in a couple of inches deeper inside him.

"_Jesus, Kurt_" Blaine choked out as Kurt groaned. "I get it, I get it. Just slow down, you're going to hurt yourself"

Kurt whimpered and Blaine kissed him quickly before he supported himself on his arms and started rocking gently into Kurt. He picked up the pace gradually until he was certain that Kurt had adjusted to the stretch completely, then he started to thrust into his willing boyfriend with fervor.

Kurt threw his head back and arched towards Blaine. He wrapped his legs around Blaine, trying to drive the younger boy deeper into his body. Blaine's hands and mouth were running all over his body, caressing and licking and sucking, and it was setting his nerve endings on fire, heightening his pleasure. His eyes locked onto Blaine who was gazing at him in awe, and Kurt's eyes watered from the onslaught of emotion that swept over him, the deep undulating love that burned inside of him for the younger boy that was looking at him with absolute adoration. He raised his hands, cradling Blaine's face between them and pulling him into an earth shattering kiss, followed by a firm. "I love you" that earned him a wide smile from Blaine.

Blaine hugged Kurt to him tightly, overwhelmed with the need to care for and pleasure the blue eyes angel underneath him. He changed the angle of his thrusts, making sure to drive into Kurt's prostate with every smooth stroke. He sensed the tension in Kurt's body and felt his muscles coil before he registered his words.

"B-Blaine, I-I'm going…I'm c-close" Kurt cried out, his fingers digging into Blaine's shoulders, trying desperately to prolong the experience.

Blaine quickened his pace, wanting to bring Kurt as much pleasure as he could. He slammed into Kurt's prostate with every thrust and leant to whisper in Kurt's ear. "I know, baby. I can feel you"

Blaine's breath ghosting over his ear combined by the feather like touches to his chest and the assault on his prostate proved to be too much for Kurt. His orgasm slammed into him like a tidal wave and he thrashed in pleasure. Blaine continued sliding in and out of him, working him through his orgasm and Kurt's body jolted when he felt Blaine pulse inside of him. He was vaguely aware of the continuous whispers of "I love you" that were falling from Blaine's lips.

Kurt sagged in exhaustion, panting harshly. Blaine had collapsed on top of him and Kurt loved the feeling of security Blaine's body provided. The younger boy carded his fingers through Kurt's sweaty locks gently and Kurt smiled peacefully up at him. Blaine pulled out slowly, earning a hiss from Kurt at the oversensitivity, and hovered over Kurt worriedly. Kurt grinned at him and tilted his head up for a kiss which Blaine granted happily.

Kurt lay on the bed, watching Blaine as he discarded of the condom and disappeared into the bathroom, returning a moment later with a wet towel. He cleaned Kurt up gently before wiping the mess on his own chest and tossing the towel to the floor. He returned to the bed, curling up around his sated boyfriend and covering their naked bodies with the comforter before pressing a lingering kiss against Kurt's lips.

They lay together in silence, wrapped in each other's arms. Kurt felt like he was boneless and he allowed Blaine to maneuver him into his arms. They ended up with Kurt's head pillowed on Blaine's chest which he was tracing imaginary lines on. His mind started to clear from the high he was in and he raised his head to look at Blaine who gave him a soft smile. But there was another emotion in Blaine's eyes that Kurt couldn't recognize.

"Are you okay?" Kurt mumbled.

"Never better" Blaine answered automatically. "You?"

"Perfect" Kurt sighed and snuggled more into Blaine's embrace. "You wore me out, Mr. Anderson"

Blaine laughed and Kurt positioned his head over Blaine's heart, finding comfort in the steady heartbeat. Kurt was drifting into unconsciousness when Blaine started humming under his breath.

"What are you humming?" Kurt questioned sleepily and Blaine fell silent for a second before he started singing quietly.

_Spent all your time waiting_

_For that second chance_

_For a break that would make it okay_

_There is always some reason_

_To feel not good enough_

_And it's hard at the end of the day_

_I need some distraction, _

_Oh, beautiful release_

Kurt had turned in Blaine's arms as soon as he recognized the song. He rolled his upper body so that he was resting half on top of his boyfriend, gazing at Blaine as he sang. Kurt was struck by the raw emotion in Blaine's eyes, love was shining clearly in Blaine's eyes but there was also residual pain lurking in the hazel depths, and Kurt was mesmerized.

_Memory seep from my veins_

_Let me be empty_

_And weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

Kurt couldn't take it any longer and surged forward, bestowing a deep kiss upon Blaine. He tried to convey all of his love through the kiss. He had never seen Blaine this vulnerable before. The younger boy was baring his soul to Kurt in song and Kurt was desperate to help him. He knew that Blaine wasn't over what happened and that he would carry his cheating with him for a long time. Kurt's forgiveness might have been the catalyst that triggered Blaine's healing but it didn't magically make everything alright. Blaine needed time to heal and to forgive himself, just like Kurt needed time to trust him fully again. But for the mean time, Kurt was going to do everything in his power to help the boy he loved.

"I'm sorry" Blaine apologized tearfully once Kurt broke the kiss. "I didn't mean to ruin the mood, I…"

"Shh, it's okay" Kurt put a finger to Blaine's lips, hushing him gently. "You didn't ruin anything" A beat, then. "Do you really feel like that? That you're not good enough?"

Blaine shrugged wordlessly and Kurt sighed.

"Listen to me, Blaine" Kurt started firmly. "I love you. I've loved you for a long time, even when you were too damn oblivious to see it, even when I was supposed to hate you for breaking my heart. I tried to convince myself that I was over you and that I was ready to see someone else, and we both know how that ended"

Blaine gave him a weak smile and Kurt stroked his cheek. "You've owned my heart right from the start, Blaine Anderson, and I never got it back. I don't _want_ it back. And as long as you love me as much as I love you, then you _are_ good enough."

Blaine was hanging onto Kurt's every word, taking in the blue-eyed beauty whose words were like a healing balm to his soul. Kurt's eyes were shining with sincerity as he spoke.

"I know it'll take time" Kurt whispered after pecking Blaine's lips. "And that's fine. But please, don't ever feel like you're less than me in any way. Both of us have done things we aren't proud of but we got through it. We're together now, Blaine, and that's all that matters"

Blaine rolled over, taking Kurt with him till they both rested on their sides, facing each other. He threw his arm around Kurt's waist, tugging him closer and whispering. "How did I get so lucky?" He wondered and Kurt smiled against his neck.

"We're both lucky" Kurt breathed out, burrowing into Blaine and feeling his chest vibrate with soft laughter. He relaxed in his lover's embrace, closing his eyes peacefully. He was wrapped tightly in Blaine's arms, with their legs tangled and their naked bodies pressed together. This was the very definition of bliss. This was his home, right here in Blaine's arms.

Blaine covered Kurt's hand with his, bringing it to his lip to press a kiss against his pulse point. He ducked his head, burying his head in Kurt's hair and breathing in his scent. He felt Kurt grew heavier in his arms and he knew that the older boy had fallen asleep. He ghosted his fingers over Kurt's face, tracing his features with soft touches, smiling when Kurt's lips parted to let out a content sigh and he snuggled closer to Blaine. The senior lay there for a long time, watching his boyfriend as he slumbered on with the last part of his song echoing through his head.

_In the arms of an angel_

_Fly away from here_

_From this dark cold hotel room_

_And the endlessness that you fear_

_You're pulled from the wreckage_

_Of your silent reverie_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find some comfort here_

* * *

_And that's a wrap. The songs used in this chapter are Come What May from Moulin Rouge (which I can't wait to hear Klaine singing), Faithfully by Journey and Angel by Westlife respectively. I'm toying with a few ideas for an epilogue but I'm not sure if I'm gonna write one yet, the hiatus is really doing a number on me. Hopefully, I'll manage to come up with something for an epilogue soon. Thanks again for reading, guys. You are the ones who made me continue, even when my muse was cowering in a corner, sulking over the fact that Klaine are still broken up.  
_


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